Sunday, June 22, 2014
Growing Up and Letting Go....
Looking at his Facebook picture on his birthday today reminded me that not long ago we kissed...
It was that catalyst that finally led to the break up of my wood rotting relationship with DL. And of course, a series of life-changing domino-effect consequences to my life which led to the loss of my business, our second home and more to an angry, sad and bitter DL for at least a good six months after. He was unconsolable and I was left feeling empty and wanted this sad, sad episode in my life to be over and something else for me to hang on to. I didn't know whether to feel hope from having been given such a convenient escape route out of my trapped life or despair for losing almost everything overnight that I had planned for DL and me for years where I did my hard yards and invested emotionally and financially to the business of my relationship . At this stage, of course, my relationship with DL was a house of cards waiting to crumble and he happened to turn up at the right place and time to trigger the chain of events. Perhaps no one but my good self was to be blamed...
I wished him a Happy Birthday as my phone sent me a Facebook reminder. I might well be the first one to post a birthday greeting on his wall given that I am two hours ahead of his time.
I felt nothing. No residual emotions. Nothing. The memory of that kiss and our brief encounter is slowly fading from my sensory remembrance. Although I could recall the sequence of that night, I cannot feel that moment in the deep recesses of my mind. I wish him well- he seemed to be leading a fulfilled life, slowly coming to one with his life purpose.
I know I have let go, as with all other memories and past encounters with short term lovers and flings. Ironically, I never thought that this day would come for me to say "including the Old Boy". But I must admit I have.
My use of time have become more precious as life presents me with new challenges and fresh beginnings, post my separation from DL (although ironically, we are still very much in each other's lives despite having moved on and we have each found ourselves another boyfriend/girlfriend). Since then, my life felt like I have given a new leash of life and a breath of fresh air. A whole new life of adventures await me ahead.
It was that catalyst that finally led to the break up of my wood rotting relationship with DL. And of course, a series of life-changing domino-effect consequences to my life which led to the loss of my business, our second home and more to an angry, sad and bitter DL for at least a good six months after. He was unconsolable and I was left feeling empty and wanted this sad, sad episode in my life to be over and something else for me to hang on to. I didn't know whether to feel hope from having been given such a convenient escape route out of my trapped life or despair for losing almost everything overnight that I had planned for DL and me for years where I did my hard yards and invested emotionally and financially to the business of my relationship . At this stage, of course, my relationship with DL was a house of cards waiting to crumble and he happened to turn up at the right place and time to trigger the chain of events. Perhaps no one but my good self was to be blamed...
I wished him a Happy Birthday as my phone sent me a Facebook reminder. I might well be the first one to post a birthday greeting on his wall given that I am two hours ahead of his time.
I felt nothing. No residual emotions. Nothing. The memory of that kiss and our brief encounter is slowly fading from my sensory remembrance. Although I could recall the sequence of that night, I cannot feel that moment in the deep recesses of my mind. I wish him well- he seemed to be leading a fulfilled life, slowly coming to one with his life purpose.
I know I have let go, as with all other memories and past encounters with short term lovers and flings. Ironically, I never thought that this day would come for me to say "including the Old Boy". But I must admit I have.
My use of time have become more precious as life presents me with new challenges and fresh beginnings, post my separation from DL (although ironically, we are still very much in each other's lives despite having moved on and we have each found ourselves another boyfriend/girlfriend). Since then, my life felt like I have given a new leash of life and a breath of fresh air. A whole new life of adventures await me ahead.
