Monday, March 28, 2011
Don't Work...
So here I am on sick leave today, with no access to work email due to some unknown technical reasons.
I get my colleague to check my emails and realise I have one important matter that I need to attend to.
Long story short, a particular candidate of me is bailing my client out on an interview tomorrow. It happens very often to the said candidate who has little skills but an important piece of qualification that stokes the interest in all my clients.
Being a newbie in town and that particular industry having a dearth of such professionals, she thinks she can afford to choose right down to location.
It seems like her young family takes precedence and it made me wonder why the fuck does she even want to get back to work in the first place.
I have "educated" her and kindly suggested that she needed to be more flexible at this stage as she needs to get some real training under her belt. It was even a long shot for me to put her in front of my clients mainly because she had little, if not no experience in the specialised areas that my clients are looking for. Yours truly have been raking her brains at a lightning speed and have resorted to looking overseas and pitching the viability of such a recruitment exercise.
My thoughts are this: I did not approach her. She approached me. Now I play a totally different ballgame from my days as a headhunter to a mere recruiter dealing with people earning ok salaries in the range of $60 to $100k per annum.
So she would bloody make up her darn mind about her life priorities before mucking people around and telling me she needs a break from an interview. What break bitch? You haven't even got your career on track yet so fuck that break or stay home and breastfeed till all the cows come home!
I honestly have no respect for women like this.
This is the reality- sacrifice your career for family or vice versa. She needs to make a choice given the profession she has chosen for herself.
She can be sure she is X-ed out from my books. If I am mean, I could blacklist her further by putting a word out there to prospective employers- after all, the industry is way too small.
Anyways another thing is- who ever put under "Interest" in their CV- "My 1*-month old son, D, of course. Woman, there is no time for cluckiness! I can handle family under interest but please spare us the "of course"! I roll my eyes as I type.
My suggestion to her is-she should take a break from working altogether!
More thoughts on that regarding women with kids and managing a career!
So here I am on sick leave today, with no access to work email due to some unknown technical reasons.
I get my colleague to check my emails and realise I have one important matter that I need to attend to.
Long story short, a particular candidate of me is bailing my client out on an interview tomorrow. It happens very often to the said candidate who has little skills but an important piece of qualification that stokes the interest in all my clients.
Being a newbie in town and that particular industry having a dearth of such professionals, she thinks she can afford to choose right down to location.
It seems like her young family takes precedence and it made me wonder why the fuck does she even want to get back to work in the first place.
I have "educated" her and kindly suggested that she needed to be more flexible at this stage as she needs to get some real training under her belt. It was even a long shot for me to put her in front of my clients mainly because she had little, if not no experience in the specialised areas that my clients are looking for. Yours truly have been raking her brains at a lightning speed and have resorted to looking overseas and pitching the viability of such a recruitment exercise.
My thoughts are this: I did not approach her. She approached me. Now I play a totally different ballgame from my days as a headhunter to a mere recruiter dealing with people earning ok salaries in the range of $60 to $100k per annum.
So she would bloody make up her darn mind about her life priorities before mucking people around and telling me she needs a break from an interview. What break bitch? You haven't even got your career on track yet so fuck that break or stay home and breastfeed till all the cows come home!
I honestly have no respect for women like this.
This is the reality- sacrifice your career for family or vice versa. She needs to make a choice given the profession she has chosen for herself.
She can be sure she is X-ed out from my books. If I am mean, I could blacklist her further by putting a word out there to prospective employers- after all, the industry is way too small.
Anyways another thing is- who ever put under "Interest" in their CV- "My 1*-month old son, D, of course. Woman, there is no time for cluckiness! I can handle family under interest but please spare us the "of course"! I roll my eyes as I type.
My suggestion to her is-she should take a break from working altogether!
More thoughts on that regarding women with kids and managing a career!
Teeny Bopper Crush
Dope and I drop one-two liner emails to each other at work.
Now that I am back at work for the first time since 2008.
We write sporadically if we remember each other and managed to take a breather.
Usually, it is pretty mundane things like "Yo how's it going on your end?" or weekend plans and the like.
We lead such separate lives and live in two different cities and literally, we are trying simply to keep in touch.
I told him I just remember I am about to have my birthday.
Yeah I do remember someone's birthday is coming. Doing anything special?
Dun know yet. Can't believe I am turning 32.
Me too. You will always be 18 to me.
That brought me back to the first day I was attracted to him.
I was 20 and I remembered all too well the crush I had for Dope- that good-looking Eurasian boy dancing at the club on stage with his slim and sexy Thai girlfriend.
I thought he was way out of my league and I'll never make it into his good books!;)
Dope and I drop one-two liner emails to each other at work.
Now that I am back at work for the first time since 2008.
We write sporadically if we remember each other and managed to take a breather.
Usually, it is pretty mundane things like "Yo how's it going on your end?" or weekend plans and the like.
We lead such separate lives and live in two different cities and literally, we are trying simply to keep in touch.
I told him I just remember I am about to have my birthday.
Yeah I do remember someone's birthday is coming. Doing anything special?
Dun know yet. Can't believe I am turning 32.
Me too. You will always be 18 to me.
That brought me back to the first day I was attracted to him.
I was 20 and I remembered all too well the crush I had for Dope- that good-looking Eurasian boy dancing at the club on stage with his slim and sexy Thai girlfriend.
I thought he was way out of my league and I'll never make it into his good books!;)
Memory Trespassed
I was seiving through my blog entries to re-visit my writing and recall the different states of minds in various stages of my life.
How ironic that the more emotionally disturbed I was in the past, the easier the words flowed!
Then I chanced upon an entry- http://dilettantep.blogspot.com/2008_10_01_archive.html.
Didn't know that after all these years- re-reading it could still bring tears in my eyes.
I consciously shut that all too familiar pain and tug at my heart right before it could get me. Just once upon a time ago, it got me like the surge of tsunami that got the people in Japan.
As we know, it's going to be what will seem like infinity for Japan to sort through the rubble of mass destruction.
I was seiving through my blog entries to re-visit my writing and recall the different states of minds in various stages of my life.
How ironic that the more emotionally disturbed I was in the past, the easier the words flowed!
Then I chanced upon an entry- http://dilettantep.blogspot.com/2008_10_01_archive.html.
Didn't know that after all these years- re-reading it could still bring tears in my eyes.
I consciously shut that all too familiar pain and tug at my heart right before it could get me. Just once upon a time ago, it got me like the surge of tsunami that got the people in Japan.
As we know, it's going to be what will seem like infinity for Japan to sort through the rubble of mass destruction.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Self-Affirmation One
I must admit it's been a long while since I feel like I can write.
The stories and words are constantly streaming in my head. I hear my own narrating voice bursting to get my tales told on blog. Then it's gone.
I haven't the discipline to have a little notepad in my purse at my disposal to pen down my thoughts.
I get lazy and then mildly dissatisfied with myself. At a much later stage, I would get in front of the laptop and attempt to type. I hear my nagging-needs-to-stop-doing-things-half-fucked voice in my head and my procrastination have become moreunbearable. This time round, I am stuck. I egged myself a little harder and typed a few words. Then I get stuck again. This process repeats itself for a further 15 mins until I abandon the writing altogether. Another to-do thing accumulated to my burdensome mental list.
Lately, I have felt a renewed energy in focusing and working on my writing.
You see, I am sick of not accomplishing something in what I deemed as one of my two passions- writing. (Another one being fashion design- now that might take a little longer but I have started to reshuffle my priorities to get there- cut out the proposed spending of imported handpainted silk wallpaper for the bedroom, curb any compulsion to buy yet another piece of artwork for my tiny abode and do without an antque chinoiserie cabinet.)
I recently went to a free writing seminar with Soci, which I chanced upon on the local paper. I took it as a sign and reminder that I needed to do something about my writing. It has been at the back of my mind disturbing me and begging for more attention for some time.
Frankly, I would love to just roll out of bed and start my day working in my PJs. I hate dressing up for work, catch public transport, manage the boss and hand hold my clients and candidates.
I have enough hobbies and ideas to keep myself occupied in a day without playing the mediator to sort out other people's issues and life.
Enough time wasted.
This is THE time and year that things MUST be done by me and for me.
I must admit it's been a long while since I feel like I can write.
The stories and words are constantly streaming in my head. I hear my own narrating voice bursting to get my tales told on blog. Then it's gone.
I haven't the discipline to have a little notepad in my purse at my disposal to pen down my thoughts.
I get lazy and then mildly dissatisfied with myself. At a much later stage, I would get in front of the laptop and attempt to type. I hear my nagging-needs-to-stop-doing-things-half-fucked voice in my head and my procrastination have become moreunbearable. This time round, I am stuck. I egged myself a little harder and typed a few words. Then I get stuck again. This process repeats itself for a further 15 mins until I abandon the writing altogether. Another to-do thing accumulated to my burdensome mental list.
Lately, I have felt a renewed energy in focusing and working on my writing.
You see, I am sick of not accomplishing something in what I deemed as one of my two passions- writing. (Another one being fashion design- now that might take a little longer but I have started to reshuffle my priorities to get there- cut out the proposed spending of imported handpainted silk wallpaper for the bedroom, curb any compulsion to buy yet another piece of artwork for my tiny abode and do without an antque chinoiserie cabinet.)
I recently went to a free writing seminar with Soci, which I chanced upon on the local paper. I took it as a sign and reminder that I needed to do something about my writing. It has been at the back of my mind disturbing me and begging for more attention for some time.
Frankly, I would love to just roll out of bed and start my day working in my PJs. I hate dressing up for work, catch public transport, manage the boss and hand hold my clients and candidates.
I have enough hobbies and ideas to keep myself occupied in a day without playing the mediator to sort out other people's issues and life.
Enough time wasted.
This is THE time and year that things MUST be done by me and for me.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Right now...
I should be in a fine dining restaurant dining with DL, having an early celebration of my 32nd birthday.
As you can tell, I am not.
I am sitting right in front of my laptop.
On the other hand, DL is sleeping in his one month old VW Golf in our brand new garage.
"I can't do this anymore," I told him this afternoon.
I have had enough of his temper that seems to get stoked to life at the most innocent comment I make nowadays.
And the string of expletives that come and then the further provocation.
I DON'T like the negative energy.
We cannot seem to have a half decent conversation regarding everyday housekeeping affairs it seems.
He has become a very unappealing character that I have to half put up with in my life to the point that the sweetest things he has done and will do for me no longer mitigate the resentment I feel for him everytime such spontaneous domestic occurrence arise.
Lately, it has become rather spontaneous. At the same time, I haven't the patience to back off and quell the situation.
We get into shouting matches.
I hate to take the humble pie but I normally do with him. Only for survival but in exchange, my resentment continues to grow and my libido has dropped to zilch.
I swear if he dares to come any closer to me with his deadly stare and aggression the next time round- he will be given two options.
Before he could even think about executing his actions, he can jolly well get the fuck out of MY house. I am glad I have sole ownership of my property.
If not, I will just give him a knife and not dare but ask him to just stab me right there and then instead.
Either way, he will lose me.
Ah well, he has already lost me anyway.
I should be in a fine dining restaurant dining with DL, having an early celebration of my 32nd birthday.
As you can tell, I am not.
I am sitting right in front of my laptop.
On the other hand, DL is sleeping in his one month old VW Golf in our brand new garage.
"I can't do this anymore," I told him this afternoon.
I have had enough of his temper that seems to get stoked to life at the most innocent comment I make nowadays.
And the string of expletives that come and then the further provocation.
I DON'T like the negative energy.
We cannot seem to have a half decent conversation regarding everyday housekeeping affairs it seems.
He has become a very unappealing character that I have to half put up with in my life to the point that the sweetest things he has done and will do for me no longer mitigate the resentment I feel for him everytime such spontaneous domestic occurrence arise.
Lately, it has become rather spontaneous. At the same time, I haven't the patience to back off and quell the situation.
We get into shouting matches.
I hate to take the humble pie but I normally do with him. Only for survival but in exchange, my resentment continues to grow and my libido has dropped to zilch.
I swear if he dares to come any closer to me with his deadly stare and aggression the next time round- he will be given two options.
Before he could even think about executing his actions, he can jolly well get the fuck out of MY house. I am glad I have sole ownership of my property.
If not, I will just give him a knife and not dare but ask him to just stab me right there and then instead.
Either way, he will lose me.
Ah well, he has already lost me anyway.
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
it's march and my horooscope says that it is the best time to break habits. There is one bad habit that has stuck with me for the past three years. I would like to be rid of it, except I don't know how. What if I tell you it's more mental than anything else? How do I break away from that ghost of a memory? I feel my heart stir once more on one of these 8am bus rides to work. this all too familiar tug-at-my-heart blues from the past is slowly creeping up on me once more...
