Sunday, March 27, 2011
Self-Affirmation One
I must admit it's been a long while since I feel like I can write.
The stories and words are constantly streaming in my head. I hear my own narrating voice bursting to get my tales told on blog. Then it's gone.
I haven't the discipline to have a little notepad in my purse at my disposal to pen down my thoughts.
I get lazy and then mildly dissatisfied with myself. At a much later stage, I would get in front of the laptop and attempt to type. I hear my nagging-needs-to-stop-doing-things-half-fucked voice in my head and my procrastination have become moreunbearable. This time round, I am stuck. I egged myself a little harder and typed a few words. Then I get stuck again. This process repeats itself for a further 15 mins until I abandon the writing altogether. Another to-do thing accumulated to my burdensome mental list.
Lately, I have felt a renewed energy in focusing and working on my writing.
You see, I am sick of not accomplishing something in what I deemed as one of my two passions- writing. (Another one being fashion design- now that might take a little longer but I have started to reshuffle my priorities to get there- cut out the proposed spending of imported handpainted silk wallpaper for the bedroom, curb any compulsion to buy yet another piece of artwork for my tiny abode and do without an antque chinoiserie cabinet.)
I recently went to a free writing seminar with Soci, which I chanced upon on the local paper. I took it as a sign and reminder that I needed to do something about my writing. It has been at the back of my mind disturbing me and begging for more attention for some time.
Frankly, I would love to just roll out of bed and start my day working in my PJs. I hate dressing up for work, catch public transport, manage the boss and hand hold my clients and candidates.
I have enough hobbies and ideas to keep myself occupied in a day without playing the mediator to sort out other people's issues and life.
Enough time wasted.
This is THE time and year that things MUST be done by me and for me.
I must admit it's been a long while since I feel like I can write.
The stories and words are constantly streaming in my head. I hear my own narrating voice bursting to get my tales told on blog. Then it's gone.
I haven't the discipline to have a little notepad in my purse at my disposal to pen down my thoughts.
I get lazy and then mildly dissatisfied with myself. At a much later stage, I would get in front of the laptop and attempt to type. I hear my nagging-needs-to-stop-doing-things-half-fucked voice in my head and my procrastination have become moreunbearable. This time round, I am stuck. I egged myself a little harder and typed a few words. Then I get stuck again. This process repeats itself for a further 15 mins until I abandon the writing altogether. Another to-do thing accumulated to my burdensome mental list.
Lately, I have felt a renewed energy in focusing and working on my writing.
You see, I am sick of not accomplishing something in what I deemed as one of my two passions- writing. (Another one being fashion design- now that might take a little longer but I have started to reshuffle my priorities to get there- cut out the proposed spending of imported handpainted silk wallpaper for the bedroom, curb any compulsion to buy yet another piece of artwork for my tiny abode and do without an antque chinoiserie cabinet.)
I recently went to a free writing seminar with Soci, which I chanced upon on the local paper. I took it as a sign and reminder that I needed to do something about my writing. It has been at the back of my mind disturbing me and begging for more attention for some time.
Frankly, I would love to just roll out of bed and start my day working in my PJs. I hate dressing up for work, catch public transport, manage the boss and hand hold my clients and candidates.
I have enough hobbies and ideas to keep myself occupied in a day without playing the mediator to sort out other people's issues and life.
Enough time wasted.
This is THE time and year that things MUST be done by me and for me.
