Restructure- on your own terms

No stones...

... are ever left unturned and things always go full circle. So many strange coincidences in P's life and it is beginning to sound like a bad plot of a play when she recounts her life stories to her friends. P always gets the answers even when she isn't searching for them...

P has always been very curious as to how his or rather, their bedroom look like. The doors were deliberately kept shut for some reason during the housewarming party and she silently wondered then if it was the Lady of the House's way of obscuring the real extent of their intimacy behind closed doors, betrayed by possibly two separate mattresses. Or maybe he was getting a little bit self-conscious about exposing P to their joint sleeping arrangements where he had twice mentioned off-handedly of their year-long celibate (still counting) relationship where he had zero liberto for her... His excuse or rather hers, is that he is getting too much stress and fatigue from work.

As curious as a cat could be, P tried her hardest to suppress her desire to broach the subject. For at times, she privately suffered the base emotion of jealousy that would occasionally awake and rear its ugly head. She took care to suppress that blase feeling that should have no place in an arrangement like theirs. The deal is sealed between them, like it or not by P, despite all the we'll sees tentativeness that he drops to assure her (and perhaps himself). Her comfort (further extended by her best friend's prep talk) is reasoned by the fact that she would not wish to be in her position. Behind closed doors, what is left for her is just his physical presence, no laughter no romance and physical intimacies, you do not envy her position...

****

On the weekend, P took a trip back to the place where she spent a good part of her youth in anxiety and frustration. The "dark years" era of her coming- of- age life as she would secretly label. She took the initiative to catch up with a friend she had not seen since she moved on to another city...

Like the last time, P arranged for catch up dinner at the best Chinese restaurant in town. Over hot soup, stir frys with XO sauce and Chinese tea, they chatted about their latest career and relationship updates. And they cross-checked with each other about people moves where their university schoolmates have moved on to and who they still kept in touch.

P mentioned Dope as the only someone that she kept in touch "for a bit" and asked if her friend if she knew whom she was talking about. Her friend was not from their era at university. She came a good two to three years after. Post their single statuses.

"Oh Dope J ?" Yes, I know his sister. I recently went to his house," she said.

She sat up.

"Did you? Which one?" P asked cautiously.

"The Pyrmont one. Is there another one?"

"Well, they just moved. I went to the housewarming party."

"Nice decor."

"Yes. By the way, did you get to check out the rooms? They were closed when I was there."

"Yeah, I went into the master bedroom to use their bathroom."

"How was it furnished? Is the room spacious?"

"No. Not really. A double or queen sized bed with two matching side tables. That pretty much fills up the room. But nice decor though."

"Ah, I see."

Then P moved on from the subject.