Saturday, November 25, 2006
Dearest Big Boy,
You mentioned that our joint possibility depends on us being at the right place at the right time. I begged to differ and supported my argument based on will. Let me quote you something that I have once read at the age of nineteen and which I truly buy into the notion. It has permeated my realm of understanding, reigning the way I made light of this world and human's existence. Suddenly, I felt enlightened and understood why one is trapped in one’s suffering. Time, the artificial Maker combined with our surrender to fear or anxiety. Hence, the willpower of Man to desire and make things happen or counteract a circumstance, in my opinion is still the key to unlock any deemed trappings (or commitments as finely weighted in all things)…
“Strictly speaking time does not exist (except within the limit of the present), yet we have to submit to it. Such is our condition. We are subject to that which does not exist. Whether it is a question of passively borne duration- physical pain, waiting, regret, remorse, fear- or of organised time- order, method, necessity- in both cases that to which we are subject does not exist. But our submission exists. We are really bound by unreal chains. Time which is unreal casts over all things including ourselves a veil of unreality.”
- Gravity and Grace, Simone Weil
Please do not once interpret this letter as a persuasion to re-consider any propositions. My current outlook in such matters is zen-like. I have no wish to de-rail/ tempt you from your commitments, neither do I view myself as one whom you could make an exception for as I must say I am not an earth-shaker (though my alter ego “wants” to believe she can be so; heh). My present state of mind (or will, rather) is in neutral gear. I meant only to take a lover who could “get it” with me on his own- not only physically but most saliently, mentally as it heightens my sense of pleasure and I have no wish to intervene and influence the flow of things on my part to bring about an outcome. You could have been the one to satisfy the intellectually impoverished here with both your carnal and mental finesse but since it “shouldn’t” be happening, I thought you could still make a great companion at philosophical banter. Thought I should throw this one at you as food for thought thus.
Well, it gets quite lonely Down Under for a Headhunter (no pun intended from a burlesque;p) with no “good” ware to play with. DilettanteP always welcomes a good discussion on philosophical themes ranging from a gamut of topics in carnality (ah, Life’s source) to the intricate power play underlying human relations. The touchy feeling aspects of life that she senses a Big boy like you would be ever so piqued by curiosity and interest. Please, no politics since she has not acquaint herself well on that front but if you are in the mood to throw her a bit of education, she’s all ears…;)
Did P ever tell you that she sometimes deem herself as the female version of you (albeit less knowledgeable)? She feels like a Big girl herself. The masculine assertiveness portrayed on the exterior to mask that girly girl beneath…;)
Ok, enough said, Big Boy.
So Cheers (to the excesses of a pleasantly debauched life),
(chink, chink wine [yours] and cocktail[mine] glasses toasting),
DilettanteP
P.S. You may choose to write me a letter at dilettantep@hotmail.com addressed from Big Boy. Do include an indication so that I know it is really you ;)
