Friday, December 29, 2006
She has been spending much time with DL and Fluffball. Most of the time, it has been great. As always, DL makes the No. 1 loving and caring boyfriend and father (to Fluffball). They even discussed at great lengths about wealth planning and what he had learnt about tax planning for investments, which never failed to restore a sense of fuzziness and tenderness she feels towards him. But his fidgetiness late at night brought on by a boring movie plot on DVD and thus having nothing to do (fast replaced by an insatiable hunger that requires him to snack every hour) mildly irritated her. But then every man in her life irritates her in one way or another; even her beloved M was not spared.
Just now, they had a tiff. Well, best described as a mini staring incident that led on to cold war. It all started with the DS Lite Nintendo machine that DL was playing. It was really her fault to “assist” him in playing the memory word game as she is naturally inclined towards. Then he got irritated and switched it off, which in turn annoyed her. Then he hurled a vulgarity, which piqued her to no end and he threw the game machine on the floor.
There began the staring game. All this while, Fluffball watched keenly and slowly inched her way to her daddy and attempted several times with her paw and a lick on his cheek to wheedle a ceasefire. When all that failed, she rolled over belly up to encourage a tummy rub from him.
P and DL continued staring at each other.
Again, her dark thoughts resurfaced and it reminded her once again of their destructive past.
Both are careful not to exchange words. P was conscious that the older sibling was upstairs. But she could have acted for a buffer against yet another irreversible eruption.
Again, those words are at the tip of her mouth. She would like to hurl and lash out those terrible words to hurt him so deep. But she knows he is capable of out-doing her. So she takes a deep breath to suppress that burning anger, perhaps mainly to protect herself.
Fluffball got down from the couch and walked towards P. She pawed her mummy to affect a kiss or cuddle of some sort to end the cold war. As usual, P complied and broke away from the stare, but she remembers the score.
What would they do without Fluffball, she wonders?
The answer is perhaps simple- they would have long ended the relationship.
Perhaps that is why some marriages trudged on (just like her parents but sometimes they seem to be able to rekindle that old magic), the children are always the cementing factor.
Funny how she feels this way even for a dog.
But Fluffball made her understand the great love a mother feels for a child. (She means most mothers, though in her screwed up social environment, there are some she knows, whom have chosen to leave their real children; she still cannot comprehend and greatly disturbs her.)
Fluffball will always be a Daddy’s girl and her love and bond for her deemed master is inseparable and vice versa. But P loves her so much and has never felt that way for any living creature before she came along. She would never have claimed custody over her in the event of a break-up because deep inside her, she knows Fluffball is much happier with her father.
Some days, she thinks she could deal with not seeing Fluffball again if the day ever arrives as she mentally psyched herself. But on most days, her will is weak.
