Saturday, January 13, 2007
On Work
I must be quite a lucky bitch with good friends. There are days where I think it is too good to be true. You see, I was brought up a cynic and I have very unlucky and I fell a lot. Maybe that was how I learnt and over the years, my guiding principles have enabled me to accumulate goodwill amongst friends and people...
I figured everyone must have something good happening in their lives, one way of another. No one can have a perfect life- something's got to give somewhere in some aspects. Just like how my emotionally disturbed mind must be compensated by the good things happening in my professional life. I seemed to have a bit of luck in that department and in that racy world of the rat race, one needs just as much luck as one can get, and of course, the ability to get it - notwithstanding, true capabilities.
So I went out last night with the colleagues. Lots of professional bantering. I was "invited" days in advance by fellow workmates of my level to go out on Friday. I am the only person (doing the same job) from my old team that was asked by my new found friends.
There are days where I get the feeling that they genuinely like me but often wonder if I was truly happy with my team. There is an undercurrent of resentment or possible curiosity of how our team work- you see, we operate with this high level of co-operation and like an exclusive clique, we do VERY well. The rest do not quite seem to understand our model and then there were lots of changes made to shake up the organisation in order to accomodate the entrance of our team. We seemed too good to be true.
I realised from last night that I have fast earned the reputation amongst my new peers of being very good at what I do- that is, mapping out teams. Having started my profession with one of the hardest sector practice (and of course, in the big ticket league in terms of billings), some are quite amazed at my ability to extract information with very little tools or help to work with. You see- they don't do as much cold calling (me, the person with the greatest phone phobia have once again had to confront my fears squarely) and my job must be viewed as rather shitty and daunting. There are days when I get in and out of my mission swiftly, my heart continues to pulsate quickly still afterwards and I heaved a sigh of relief that I managed to get what I want. After all, you only get one shot at it and after which, you lie low for a while...
So we talked and I realised from someone's conversation with another that I have been severely underpaid. I am not surprised because either way, I am going to get a pay rise. The last remuneration meeting, the Big Man of the firm for the region had mentioned that some of us have been severely underpaid and he looked at me. I knew he meant me- I am patient. Besides, the market has been tight lately and lots of poaching has been going on. They would not want to lose another staff. But I do have my own back-up plans and again, I am more than capable to negotiate for a good deal to advance myself financially...
The group broke up into smaller chatting groups and accountant and I moved on to speak personally amongst ourselves and again he mentioned about bonuses. He told me that I was to get $x- he has just submitted the budget and it has been approved. And that he did so by reducing his own share. He figured a colleague and I deserved more and so he allocated lesser for the finance team. He had put it across the boss that this should be a fair amount for me or the boss could potentially lose me.
$x- was within my expectation. In fact, that was exactly how much I paced myself to be getting. It was at least what I needed to pay off that wad of bills and to boost that fast diminishing savings. By June, I need to seriously look for somewhere to buy and work on planning and creating my wealth. But realising that it came at the expense of others, I am dumbfounded at the idea.
What can I say? I do have good friends. Not only him but this entire week, I was able to get some vital information because I have good friends, like Dope ("Why did you have to tell your boss? Best to keep the credit to yourself," he had said) and another hedge fund analyst friend from my old days in that business doing boring things.
Then there was the time where the accountant and I were severely hung over and did not turned up for work. Everyone knew that we went out drinking. He took the rap for me and lied to the boss that I left for home early as I was genuinely unwell.
I feel like a charlatan most days at work and with much luck amongst people, I advance. I am grateful and wonder at times if my luck would run out soon.
****
" Big brother (in his native language), but you know I might still leave even if I get that amount of bonus right?"
"Yes and it doesn't matter. I want you to leave with a good bonus if you decide to leave. You deserve it.
But make sure the money gets into your bank account first. By the way, the boss has lots of respect and regard for the work you put in for the team."
****
The other party that I have been in talks with have just summoned me for yet another round of interview. This time with that mysterious lady who provided my name. They seemed very keen to move forward with me.
It would be a step up to my current role but not fraud with elements of uncertainties. There is no turning back to a tier 1 firm if I make myself bold. But for the longer term, I might well make that professional or financial break to push for my agenda for our (DL and my) lives to finally come together. With the right mentors, the right employer fit and the right financial backing, I might finally be able to move onwards in my life and expand my ambitions into the other areas and make those dreams come true.
That is, if I could stick it out and earn my stripes with the new entreprenuerial and moneyed bunch.
Am I glad that I can finally return home to Singapore next weekend and take time off to think and strategise the next step in my life...
Ah, all the adult responsibilities with the coming of age...
I must be quite a lucky bitch with good friends. There are days where I think it is too good to be true. You see, I was brought up a cynic and I have very unlucky and I fell a lot. Maybe that was how I learnt and over the years, my guiding principles have enabled me to accumulate goodwill amongst friends and people...
I figured everyone must have something good happening in their lives, one way of another. No one can have a perfect life- something's got to give somewhere in some aspects. Just like how my emotionally disturbed mind must be compensated by the good things happening in my professional life. I seemed to have a bit of luck in that department and in that racy world of the rat race, one needs just as much luck as one can get, and of course, the ability to get it - notwithstanding, true capabilities.
So I went out last night with the colleagues. Lots of professional bantering. I was "invited" days in advance by fellow workmates of my level to go out on Friday. I am the only person (doing the same job) from my old team that was asked by my new found friends.
There are days where I get the feeling that they genuinely like me but often wonder if I was truly happy with my team. There is an undercurrent of resentment or possible curiosity of how our team work- you see, we operate with this high level of co-operation and like an exclusive clique, we do VERY well. The rest do not quite seem to understand our model and then there were lots of changes made to shake up the organisation in order to accomodate the entrance of our team. We seemed too good to be true.
I realised from last night that I have fast earned the reputation amongst my new peers of being very good at what I do- that is, mapping out teams. Having started my profession with one of the hardest sector practice (and of course, in the big ticket league in terms of billings), some are quite amazed at my ability to extract information with very little tools or help to work with. You see- they don't do as much cold calling (me, the person with the greatest phone phobia have once again had to confront my fears squarely) and my job must be viewed as rather shitty and daunting. There are days when I get in and out of my mission swiftly, my heart continues to pulsate quickly still afterwards and I heaved a sigh of relief that I managed to get what I want. After all, you only get one shot at it and after which, you lie low for a while...
So we talked and I realised from someone's conversation with another that I have been severely underpaid. I am not surprised because either way, I am going to get a pay rise. The last remuneration meeting, the Big Man of the firm for the region had mentioned that some of us have been severely underpaid and he looked at me. I knew he meant me- I am patient. Besides, the market has been tight lately and lots of poaching has been going on. They would not want to lose another staff. But I do have my own back-up plans and again, I am more than capable to negotiate for a good deal to advance myself financially...
The group broke up into smaller chatting groups and accountant and I moved on to speak personally amongst ourselves and again he mentioned about bonuses. He told me that I was to get $x- he has just submitted the budget and it has been approved. And that he did so by reducing his own share. He figured a colleague and I deserved more and so he allocated lesser for the finance team. He had put it across the boss that this should be a fair amount for me or the boss could potentially lose me.
$x- was within my expectation. In fact, that was exactly how much I paced myself to be getting. It was at least what I needed to pay off that wad of bills and to boost that fast diminishing savings. By June, I need to seriously look for somewhere to buy and work on planning and creating my wealth. But realising that it came at the expense of others, I am dumbfounded at the idea.
What can I say? I do have good friends. Not only him but this entire week, I was able to get some vital information because I have good friends, like Dope ("Why did you have to tell your boss? Best to keep the credit to yourself," he had said) and another hedge fund analyst friend from my old days in that business doing boring things.
Then there was the time where the accountant and I were severely hung over and did not turned up for work. Everyone knew that we went out drinking. He took the rap for me and lied to the boss that I left for home early as I was genuinely unwell.
I feel like a charlatan most days at work and with much luck amongst people, I advance. I am grateful and wonder at times if my luck would run out soon.
****
" Big brother (in his native language), but you know I might still leave even if I get that amount of bonus right?"
"Yes and it doesn't matter. I want you to leave with a good bonus if you decide to leave. You deserve it.
But make sure the money gets into your bank account first. By the way, the boss has lots of respect and regard for the work you put in for the team."
****
The other party that I have been in talks with have just summoned me for yet another round of interview. This time with that mysterious lady who provided my name. They seemed very keen to move forward with me.
It would be a step up to my current role but not fraud with elements of uncertainties. There is no turning back to a tier 1 firm if I make myself bold. But for the longer term, I might well make that professional or financial break to push for my agenda for our (DL and my) lives to finally come together. With the right mentors, the right employer fit and the right financial backing, I might finally be able to move onwards in my life and expand my ambitions into the other areas and make those dreams come true.
That is, if I could stick it out and earn my stripes with the new entreprenuerial and moneyed bunch.
Am I glad that I can finally return home to Singapore next weekend and take time off to think and strategise the next step in my life...
Ah, all the adult responsibilities with the coming of age...
