Restructure- on your own terms

Affairs of the heart (all that mambo jumbo)...

I need to vent. The last few days have been hectic with work. Then there was weekend spent with DL at his place and we travelled inter-state back to mine and only this morning did he leave with Fluffball to return to the place that used to be our joint home.

The week spent together has been great. We had quality conversations (which I'll find time to write another day) and a fantastic time together doing all the couplely things. Last night, I had to work late and he came by to my office. He waited for me to finish up around eight and we headed off for a late wining and dining session by the harbour...

I think I could be in love with him again and again, the feeling of assuredness that he will still ultimately be the man that I will marry has emanate the very depths of my soul once more...

It has something to do with our conversation. Funny how I think he knows me better than I think he knows me...

*****

At the back of my mind, I cannot stop thinking of Dr. Jekyll & Hyde. It torments me slightly to know that I never get over my "uncoolness" like an infatuated high schoolgirl for him. During our private moments, he certainly teased the damsel out of me. In between my flirtatious and seductive behaviour, there are impulses within me to yield my vulnerable self to him. I wonder why.

But at the same time, Dr. Jekyll & Hyde made me feel so comfortable with him physically though he is really a stranger. I now remember that last day where we were hanky pankering in bed. His finger played at my private opening and I was beginning to feel like I needed the bathroom. I laughed and asked him to stop and told him in my ticklish state that if he wouldn't stop, I would really pee. He got highly amused and proceeded to further aggravate my sex with his fingers before I pulled it away where he then hugged and kissed me.

In one month's time, I'll head home for a weekend of fun and party and I wonder if I would ever see him.

The best laid plans always fails and I figured I should not have any expectations.

I cannot tell you, my readers how fondly I think of this guy. Many a time, I catch myself between my brain downtimes at work secretly reading and re-reading my post of "Why am I telling you this..." just so that I could hold on to those memories and remind myself of those wonderful moments that I spent with him and the things we talked about.

In fact, the thought of him now makes my heart skip a beat and I feel like I am suffering from one of the classic symptons of infatuation misconstrued as "love" by some. Heh! Not that I think I am in love but I sure know I have tons of affection for this guy. There is something in him that makes me view him as my friend...

Ok, quit it P! It's a lost cause. Next please!

****

My Manila Ted just texted me. I have just informed him of my travelling schedule into Asia next month. I said B and I would be in Hong Kong and Macau before I head off back to Singapore.

He replied to this and said the idea is tempting although he has to be around in Manila to step up the political campaigns for elections in support of a few of his friends in May! So he'll have to see if his schedule permits.

"Baby, I am flying to Asia next month, not May." was what I have just replied.

He texted back to tell me he is now at mass for Ash Wednesday.

Well, not that I care!

I wanted a quick fix to my Ego but looks like I am not getting it! Grrrrrrrrghhhhhhh!!!

Okay, enough whingeing. At least, things are looking pretty good between DL and me.

Oh and by the way, I was walking alone (as usual) to look for dinner just now after work and I caught sight of my favourite Shampoo Boy at the mall. That was so coincidental but thank goodness he took no notice of me because I look and feel damm fat and ugly!