Restructure- on your own terms

Valentine's Day...

today has been a GREAT day. That is albeit the escalating stress levels that I have experienced over the course of the week at work since my return, having also put in six hours of work on the last Sunday looking an excel spreadsheets of corporate deals (and almost getting cross eyes as a result) to make sense of the market before I go for the kill, I will still have daggers flying at me tomorrow in all directions because my late nights at work is still not allowing me to pull the magic to save my arse!

And yes, today is still quite a positive day, nonetheless.

I decided to take a brisk walk into Chinatown after work. As I walked along, I felt a sense of light-heartedness and light headedness, even my stride took on a certain lively bounce, hitherto not experienced. My usual stride is brisk and harsh, my angry eyes or tiredly irritated face always fixated ahead, my mind commanding "onwards, onwards you go!"

The look of lovey dovey couples, women with flowers and married men of the corporate types with flowers in hand put a smile on my face. I felt warm and fuzzy. It must've been the romance in the air that is fast osmisizing into the skins of every individual walking or tramping in this big and busy city. Even the street tramps looked somewhat languid and less scavanging, like the entire city beat has taken a new tempo.

In Chinatown I walked past my usual hair salon (whom I have spent good money on thanks to my eye candy) and saw my favourite shampoo boy (I could so get into some hanky pankering with this little Hongkie cutie) in there getting ready to knock off and zipping up his cutie little Japo jumper. He was probably on his way for his valentine, I gathered. I continued walking on, a smile on my face.

Funny, I was walking alone and have neither been proposed a date nor have any flowers sent to me. In fact, work is still on my mind. Actually, I forgot it was supposed to be a really special day for lovers and couples. I was one of the last to leave the office.

Anyhow, in the afternoon, I felt somewhat generous and in my loving mood. I went to the big M departmental store and bought DL a present. I figured it would be my Valentine's Day/6.5 year anniversary/chinese new year present for him. It is actually a home appliance used in the kitchen and is the top of the range model. He had wanted to buy it long time ago but would never have bought it for himself (since he would rather spend his money to get me the best presents or trinkets-"It'll only get better each year, he once promised me quietly). As always, practical me thought it might well be an ingenious idea to encourage him ito use this piece of appliance as a hobby for experimenting, which might well turn into an enterprising or genius production of what his talents might take him later on. So I decided to invest in the tools!

Having handed over my $300 and picking up the box, I soon realised that this must be the biggest and heaviest Valentine's Day present that I could have possibly got for anyone. I swear it weighed a ton! Every few steps I took, I had to rest. People were staring at me lugging a bit of a white elephant. My office was no more than a 10-minute walk away but I was fast getting exhausted and being weighed down by this cumbersome thing. I persisted for a while and then I saw three "Roses Only" trishaws at the square and asked the person who appeared to be the driver if she could ferry me back to my office and I would pay her. She said no, it was not for that purpose.I think they might be mobile florists. Dammit! To make things worse, today is an extremely hot day and I looked hot and sweaty, but not the least bit in an appealing way.

I decided to cross the road at the next junction and while doing so, I saw a cab waiting for the lights to turn green. I took a left instead of heading up the walking pavement and motioned for the cabbie to take me. He gave a little laugh when he saw how huge my merchandise was and nodded his head for me to enter. My office was no further than a block away. I seriously wonder how I would be able to take this back with me this weekend as I board the Greyhound to re-unite with DL inter-state, not to mention my overnight bag that consisted of a number of funny presents and the floral printed CK briefs I have brought him on impulse, the day I saw it on the mannequinn at the Citylink mall while I dashed between schedules, on my way to catch up with the Big Boy the last time. Heh- the male brief reminded me of those times where DL hadn't been too dilligent with his laundry and he had the fond habit of wearing my floral printed granny undies. These looked exactly like the male version. "Baby, you need some help to stretch your undies since you are getting fatter..." he would teased me as I vehemently objected to his pantie snatching ways. My panties were indeed getting looser by the leg and obviously the front, thanks to him and this never failed to annoy me, especially when they were my favourite comfy ones but I guess in an endearing way. In the end, I think he must've inherited those undies because I am now wondering where have they gone?

Yeah, so today I feel good because I am feeling somewhat lovey dovey towards DL again.

I haven't yet tell you readers my weekend encounter with yet another cabbie who decided to stop the meter and talked to me about my relationship with my boyfriend. He said he wanted to help us get together and urged me not to give up the relationship (I don't even know how we got onto that topic) because DL sounded like a great man and I sounded good to him too. Forget about the fact that he doesn't make as much money as you and that you won't get to live in a swanky apartment with sea views and he doesn't seem as ambitious and strong like you, men like that are hard to find, especially at your age. The woman is the foundation of the family. A man who loves you enough will change but a woman never changes her way so you'll find out if he truly loves you. The Eygptian cabbie's father imparted this in him. The cabbie has a failed marriage which he still regrets and he now volunteers as a counsellor in a church to help those with broken marriage. He even gave me a follow up call the next day while I worked my weekend away at the office.

I kind of took all my random experiences with cabbies as a sign. The message is always clear: hang on to the good man.

Well, on the other hand, you cynics may be wondering it cannot be it. Something must be inspiring P to emanate this rare sense of positiveness and delight.

Yup, you are too right!

The news is.... * drrruuuuuuumrolls please*!

****

Yes, P checked her bank account today. She is pleased. She has never at any stage in her life had such a lump sum deposit.

Then she got the letters- bonus and a big pay rise. A whooping 30%! Not too bad for starters. Numbers can only be meaningful to her if two are more are compared in percentage point differences (that's the mercenary accountant in her bean counting). A year ago, she aced more than 10%, six months into her job. Now less than a year on, yet another pay jump! She is meeting her personal targets at a good pace (she never loses that salesperson in her!) and onwards she will negotiate a good deal for herself until one day, she is ready to do her own gig and take off on her own terms. Not bad, considering that she is now on what Dope was doing about a year ago. She knew she was undermarket until now. Finally, she is beginning to be in the market. Who would have imagine? Dope used to say. P, the late bloomer and the girl who is ever so fond of doing detours in her life but still she has been lucky enough to get away with taking shortcuts but she knows not for too long... Even Dope did some time and hard yards and graduated with a First Class Honours to get there and P herself took less than 15 months to get to the same place with diverse work experiences and no honours which she was too lazy to take when she was invited by 2 faculties.

Today, she feels somewhat satisfied and Valentine'sDay seems sweeter than any other time that she could remember.

She is somewhat more hopeful and comforted today.

Quietly, she is quite looking forward to the Chinese reunion dinner this weekend, which DL has excitedly got all the relevant ingredients and her favourite goodies to make it a quality night for the both of them. She has also arranged to view a property on Saturday and if the time and price is right, she'll place her bet and be quite ready to set up home for the both of them and get DL out of that exorbitant rental cycle that can only viciously trap a poor man poorer...

She smiles and hangs on to the night's positiveness, knowing full well that tomorrow will be a different day, with a new set of challenges awaiting and a fresh set of raw emotions re-surfacing...

But today everything seems like a possibility. Like finding the extra few hundred bucks to fly back home for her birthday weekend of pure indulgence with her girlfriends is fast becoming a reality. So her current banal routine continues to drive her, for before her dangles the reward of hope filled with wilful possibilities (which she lives to die for)...