Thursday, June 14, 2007
Slap in the Face
Today must be a day of my defeated egos for me on so many levels...
First off, my boss told me to use my brain (which she thinks I have- I call that patronizing) and think before I submitted work to her that needs to be given to the client. What's even better, it's six days overdue. She said she doesn't trust me to send it off today so we better sit down first thing in the morning tomorrow to go through it again, which means yet another day late.She is right. I do need to use my brains but then after doing that bloody thing called the headcount and revising the drafts too many times over to decide how I should cook the books to make the numbers count and it not being a billable piece, I am quite over it. Ironically, this morning she said I had the patience of a saint. I still have a ton of worthy things (read billable and extracurricular opportunities to allow me to add value and become indispensable to not only the team but the office at large that might lead me to that much needed significant lift comes bonus time) to work through.
Then I received a call from the real estate agent at lunch. Someone outbid me in that apartment that I have been eyeing for a good two weeks now. It is a very huge 68sqm Art Deco 1920s era studio apartment with a courtyard that allows pets in hip and bohemic inner city Darlinghurst. Yesterday early morning, I viewed it for the second time (having already gotten DL to drive me round to check out the area at night)and hitting the webpage a thousand times to review the photos, with DL, the older sibling and the dog in tow. They gave me that nod of approval and I took in a deep breathe and put in my offer. I was winning yesterday, with no higher contenders. But that is my stop limit, I told myself.
Today, I was last to leave the office at 8.30pm, having to work through the pile of urgent "to do tasks". I was feeling a little empty and really, curious about his missing in action for almost a good two weeks' now post that last scintillating online chat that went cold soon after reality set in for us, or rather him.As usual, with my phone phobia, my heart was pounding and racing a hundred miles a minute before I even began to dial the number. I took a deep breath and dialled the number, as usual, I half wished the receiver wouldn't pick up. But he did. I attempted to sound charming.
"Hey, Mr. Missing in Action."
"Hello P." He recognised my voice. Quite funnily,he is the only guy ever so confident to say my name right from Day One. M, is the other person but I reckon it's mainly because whenever I called, I would ask for him in his nickname (that I have bestowed upon him) in my bad Spanish.
We talked for perhaps 2-3 minutes and kept asking how each other were and I told him about me being outbid and he asked if it was by a lot. I said no, I just didn't want to overstretch myself financially. He was with his close friend Bobo who is very close to my hostess in Manila. (I am quite conscious that Bobo might mention something to my hostess since I haven't been in touch with her for a good 3 months now and she might well be suspicious and so will Bobo assuming he hasn't said anything. Question mark on that last point). Then I asked if he was still coming to Australia in September. He replied he doesn't know now that the baby brother has not informed them if he wants their attendence for his graduation ceremony. He gave me the feeling that he wasn't as excited or keen as two and a half weeks ago. So I knew what to expect. Shortly after, quite abruptly, he said he had to go and we said our goodbyes rather hastily.
Felt like I got slapped in the face real hard for the third time in the day. Well, what a GREAT way to end the night.
I decided to call it a day and left the building, thinking that I should catch a cab home and charge it to the company.
It was pouring outside in the dark, cold and windy wintry night and there was a long beeline queue at the taxi stand. I figured I could probably get home faster by train. Besides, I could do with a brisk walk in the rain and head towards the shopping malls to soak up the bustling energy from the late night shopping crowd and catch a train from there. I took a deep breath and walked on briskly, as usual musing to myself and began getting inspired to come up with pseudo philosophies of life from today's suffering of my bruised egos.
I came up with a few ideas and they are definitely not original ideas at all.
1)When one is not so hard up for something, one would have a lesser likelihood of feeling like one has just been slapped in the face/ ego bruised. I was applying this theory to my failed property bid and also about the brusque phone treatment by Nano.
2)If one is thicker skinned and don't take things too hard, nothing could get to you (for better or for worse). I was applying this to my stupidity with the boss and also the phone conversation with Nano.
Halfway towards my destination in the rain, I received an sms.
We are meeting someone now that's why had to go.
Perhaps to redeem himself a little. Or maybe he remembered that I mentioned to him how I have this massive phone phobia. The last time many, many moons ago (must be at least 2 months now), I called him on a Friday night on my way back home in the cab from partying, it was his 11pm and he told me that he had to go to bed after like a minutes' conversation. I was so ego bruised by him I later told him during our happier and chummier times some 3 weeks ago, only to be confessed by him I had actually got him at a really bad time. You see, he was really gettting ready to go to bed not by himself but with the ex-girlfriend (whom he should have spent more time wooing back in their last date some two weeks ago but instead, he utilised a bit of time talking to her about yours truly here and this girl had asked him to convey her "hello" to me. I told him it wasn't the best move.).
Well, am I glad that it's Friday tomorrow but guess the week is really done when I manage to get my feet out of the office. Tomorrow morning, I need to sit down with the boss (having been given firm instructions to triple check my work before I sit down with her) and I pray that the work I have done for yet another colleague (a perfectionist/ rainmaker who is the boss's right-hand woman and whom I have incur her discontent a month or two ago with the negative karma mirrored back to me that caused me enough grief to contemplate a move) is good enough for her to prevent pulling an all-nighter tonight as she takes my work home to review in preparation for tomorrow's client meeting.
Again for the nth time tomorrow, I take a deep breath as I enter the Tower of Power on yet another morning, holding my breath and walking the tight rope, staying alert and contemplating what possible battles I need to fight to keep alive for the day...
P, stay alert! Not another slap in the face lest you grow numb and useless...
Today must be a day of my defeated egos for me on so many levels...
First off, my boss told me to use my brain (which she thinks I have- I call that patronizing) and think before I submitted work to her that needs to be given to the client. What's even better, it's six days overdue. She said she doesn't trust me to send it off today so we better sit down first thing in the morning tomorrow to go through it again, which means yet another day late.She is right. I do need to use my brains but then after doing that bloody thing called the headcount and revising the drafts too many times over to decide how I should cook the books to make the numbers count and it not being a billable piece, I am quite over it. Ironically, this morning she said I had the patience of a saint. I still have a ton of worthy things (read billable and extracurricular opportunities to allow me to add value and become indispensable to not only the team but the office at large that might lead me to that much needed significant lift comes bonus time) to work through.
Then I received a call from the real estate agent at lunch. Someone outbid me in that apartment that I have been eyeing for a good two weeks now. It is a very huge 68sqm Art Deco 1920s era studio apartment with a courtyard that allows pets in hip and bohemic inner city Darlinghurst. Yesterday early morning, I viewed it for the second time (having already gotten DL to drive me round to check out the area at night)and hitting the webpage a thousand times to review the photos, with DL, the older sibling and the dog in tow. They gave me that nod of approval and I took in a deep breathe and put in my offer. I was winning yesterday, with no higher contenders. But that is my stop limit, I told myself.
Today, I was last to leave the office at 8.30pm, having to work through the pile of urgent "to do tasks". I was feeling a little empty and really, curious about his missing in action for almost a good two weeks' now post that last scintillating online chat that went cold soon after reality set in for us, or rather him.As usual, with my phone phobia, my heart was pounding and racing a hundred miles a minute before I even began to dial the number. I took a deep breath and dialled the number, as usual, I half wished the receiver wouldn't pick up. But he did. I attempted to sound charming.
"Hey, Mr. Missing in Action."
"Hello P." He recognised my voice. Quite funnily,he is the only guy ever so confident to say my name right from Day One. M, is the other person but I reckon it's mainly because whenever I called, I would ask for him in his nickname (that I have bestowed upon him) in my bad Spanish.
We talked for perhaps 2-3 minutes and kept asking how each other were and I told him about me being outbid and he asked if it was by a lot. I said no, I just didn't want to overstretch myself financially. He was with his close friend Bobo who is very close to my hostess in Manila. (I am quite conscious that Bobo might mention something to my hostess since I haven't been in touch with her for a good 3 months now and she might well be suspicious and so will Bobo assuming he hasn't said anything. Question mark on that last point). Then I asked if he was still coming to Australia in September. He replied he doesn't know now that the baby brother has not informed them if he wants their attendence for his graduation ceremony. He gave me the feeling that he wasn't as excited or keen as two and a half weeks ago. So I knew what to expect. Shortly after, quite abruptly, he said he had to go and we said our goodbyes rather hastily.
Felt like I got slapped in the face real hard for the third time in the day. Well, what a GREAT way to end the night.
I decided to call it a day and left the building, thinking that I should catch a cab home and charge it to the company.
It was pouring outside in the dark, cold and windy wintry night and there was a long beeline queue at the taxi stand. I figured I could probably get home faster by train. Besides, I could do with a brisk walk in the rain and head towards the shopping malls to soak up the bustling energy from the late night shopping crowd and catch a train from there. I took a deep breath and walked on briskly, as usual musing to myself and began getting inspired to come up with pseudo philosophies of life from today's suffering of my bruised egos.
I came up with a few ideas and they are definitely not original ideas at all.
1)When one is not so hard up for something, one would have a lesser likelihood of feeling like one has just been slapped in the face/ ego bruised. I was applying this theory to my failed property bid and also about the brusque phone treatment by Nano.
2)If one is thicker skinned and don't take things too hard, nothing could get to you (for better or for worse). I was applying this to my stupidity with the boss and also the phone conversation with Nano.
Halfway towards my destination in the rain, I received an sms.
We are meeting someone now that's why had to go.
Perhaps to redeem himself a little. Or maybe he remembered that I mentioned to him how I have this massive phone phobia. The last time many, many moons ago (must be at least 2 months now), I called him on a Friday night on my way back home in the cab from partying, it was his 11pm and he told me that he had to go to bed after like a minutes' conversation. I was so ego bruised by him I later told him during our happier and chummier times some 3 weeks ago, only to be confessed by him I had actually got him at a really bad time. You see, he was really gettting ready to go to bed not by himself but with the ex-girlfriend (whom he should have spent more time wooing back in their last date some two weeks ago but instead, he utilised a bit of time talking to her about yours truly here and this girl had asked him to convey her "hello" to me. I told him it wasn't the best move.).
Well, am I glad that it's Friday tomorrow but guess the week is really done when I manage to get my feet out of the office. Tomorrow morning, I need to sit down with the boss (having been given firm instructions to triple check my work before I sit down with her) and I pray that the work I have done for yet another colleague (a perfectionist/ rainmaker who is the boss's right-hand woman and whom I have incur her discontent a month or two ago with the negative karma mirrored back to me that caused me enough grief to contemplate a move) is good enough for her to prevent pulling an all-nighter tonight as she takes my work home to review in preparation for tomorrow's client meeting.
Again for the nth time tomorrow, I take a deep breath as I enter the Tower of Power on yet another morning, holding my breath and walking the tight rope, staying alert and contemplating what possible battles I need to fight to keep alive for the day...
P, stay alert! Not another slap in the face lest you grow numb and useless...
Comments:
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No, I didn't. Someone outbid me.
Is there something wrong with your ability to understand my writing or I must write so badly it doesn't make sense?;p
Will send you the link in a bit to that beautiful apartment when I get a moment...;)
what say you?
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Is there something wrong with your ability to understand my writing or I must write so badly it doesn't make sense?;p
Will send you the link in a bit to that beautiful apartment when I get a moment...;)
what say you?
<< Home
