Monday, January 14, 2008
Dear Old Boy,
How dare you! You break my heart with your fucking big balls of a dinosaur ego and then your lies. I never cram your life and how could you try to cram mine?
Now you tell me let bygones be after you accused me of being a liar and then made me feel like one of your whores whom you pay and fuck! Get it straight! I never made you spend money on me- whiskies, dinners and what have you! Man of your word eh? So show me the money that you promised to reimburse me for the foregone airfare to Manila! How dare you spite me and say that I stayed only cos of my friend and Koran! How could you when you knew that I did so to spend more time with you! You fucking hypocrite!Your one and only PROMISE ($650) you didn't even keep!Then you had the fucking cheek to hurt me and said that you were glad you didn't give me the money! And also so fucking what if you spent lots of $$ on me all those times? So does that make me your WHORE, if you think you're supposed to get something in return for your money!
Now you want to "forgive" me on your bloody terms eh? Just because you have gone to fuck your mistress and had the audacity to add that you could have booked us a hotel on your last night and when hours before, you spent your time with me! Then there's more to come with your other fucks! And you tell me we are even! No, we're NOT even because I say I lose in numbers and in emotion. How could anyone be so sore and keep scores when you simply have no fucking right? We have never been exclusive and never will be! I did so for the benefit of you but your cousin's young gf is right! "Whats in for you P?" she asked. "Nothing." I smiled. "Old Boy is good to me." Now I say, my ass!
Get that straight again! I didn't need to be a good gal for you but I tried cos I never wanted to upset you, even though you had 10 other gals on your side! How fucking dare you to emotionally blackmail me. "Anyone but Koran!" you said. And I can tell you its nothing to do with you having something against him, he might well be that Norwegian who fingered me or anyone for that matter. It's your freaking ego and don't accuse me of lying cos I never did! I did try and I did tried to stay exclusive for you alright! To begin with, you have no right to be possessive with me!
Koran did not get very much out of me! Now I regret cos I let you cram my style cos I was true to you in feelings and affection and made Koran and I feel guilty about that act! And guess what? He is heaps nicer to me! He doesn't deserve this from me! Chucking him a mental and not giving him what I could have given him for his time and potential loss of his jobs for his sleepless nights! When we parted at my door one night, Koran lingered on for a bit- and I told him "Go you sentimental fool!" I was callous to his feelings because I didn't think I could be giving of my feelings anymore. U, the Old Boy always overshadowing me and that guilt and loyalty I felt for you! I didn't know if I had much in my heart left to spare...
You used me like a whore towards the end and don't think I didn't know. I don't know why I allowed it when I told V I was so defeated, so defeated by my emotions for you- bloody sentimental me! I watched you fuck me and go to bed and how I knew you wanted to cum in my face. Cum bucket I was to you and how you shoved your dick so deep down my throat. But I had a lot of affection for you and so I complied. You were so milking me and getting your money's worth with P eh? How dare you said I was leading you on!
Old Boy, I looked at your face so many times in bed and searched your face for that glimmer of affection I thought I might detect on you for me. And each time, I felt defeated. I could always do with more sex but I was waiting in restlessness for you to hold me tight in bed and smother my neck with kisses and then I know I would have been happily appeased. But you continue being asleep and watching TV. And again, I never stopped giving up on you...What a sentimental fool I could be!
Ask no questions and I would be told no LIES by you and you would be told no TRUTH by me! Don't tell me we are victims of each other. Go re-visit, "Can you handle it?" I stick to my own script lest I upset that balance. Well and for you, stop fucking crying wolf cos like what you accused me of, you "knew" right from the start (which funnily enough, I didn't know that about me!)that I would "cheat" on you with Koran but you "trusted me" and let me go out with him! How fucking dare you to accuse me! You are the one who tried to lie to me and lead me on. You are such a good director of your own web of deceptions, chaos and pain!I don't fucking need a dramatic life! Now who's manage to successfully deceive who?
Now you say, you have forgiven me after creating this fucking online/sms emotional scene only to slap me in the face that you had also been naughty whilst I was around! How fucking dare you! You selfish son of a bitch! How dare you insult me and make me feel like a cheap whore at first with your crass money talk! How dare you! And then, I still forgive you!
You are so selfish, I cannot believe it! Tell me to stop publicly display my affections for you cos you were uncomfortable since you have so much to hide! You said I was upset and yes I was but because you had that bloody audacity to use me and assert your territory over me before Koran amongst my friends by outrightly kissing me and you had no qualms about doing that! You never stopped using me, Old Boy and I let you time and again. I never stop letting you get away with things! That servitude in me always wanted to make you happy cos I was aware that you did spent a fair bit for me given your situation and that our precious moments together were short! How dare you start becoming calculative with me? I should never have thought for you!
And I always thought you were my friend... when you hugged me tight while I teared over DL, I was grateful so grateful I wanted to make you a happy man for being there for me cos I know you are a condemned man with a fucked up marriage life. You have since trapped yourself to that pain and attachment of being part of a family unit. So I thought at least I would make you happy if not for these last 3 weeks. Put that inevitable ego aside about the other women on your side cos you see I could really put others before me...Think of that big picture. But you had your ego alright and look what I have allowed you to do to me? I should've only taken care of me first.
You break my heart, Old Boy! You really do... now I know, you never will catch me when I fall...
P
How dare you! You break my heart with your fucking big balls of a dinosaur ego and then your lies. I never cram your life and how could you try to cram mine?
Now you tell me let bygones be after you accused me of being a liar and then made me feel like one of your whores whom you pay and fuck! Get it straight! I never made you spend money on me- whiskies, dinners and what have you! Man of your word eh? So show me the money that you promised to reimburse me for the foregone airfare to Manila! How dare you spite me and say that I stayed only cos of my friend and Koran! How could you when you knew that I did so to spend more time with you! You fucking hypocrite!Your one and only PROMISE ($650) you didn't even keep!Then you had the fucking cheek to hurt me and said that you were glad you didn't give me the money! And also so fucking what if you spent lots of $$ on me all those times? So does that make me your WHORE, if you think you're supposed to get something in return for your money!
Now you want to "forgive" me on your bloody terms eh? Just because you have gone to fuck your mistress and had the audacity to add that you could have booked us a hotel on your last night and when hours before, you spent your time with me! Then there's more to come with your other fucks! And you tell me we are even! No, we're NOT even because I say I lose in numbers and in emotion. How could anyone be so sore and keep scores when you simply have no fucking right? We have never been exclusive and never will be! I did so for the benefit of you but your cousin's young gf is right! "Whats in for you P?" she asked. "Nothing." I smiled. "Old Boy is good to me." Now I say, my ass!
Get that straight again! I didn't need to be a good gal for you but I tried cos I never wanted to upset you, even though you had 10 other gals on your side! How fucking dare you to emotionally blackmail me. "Anyone but Koran!" you said. And I can tell you its nothing to do with you having something against him, he might well be that Norwegian who fingered me or anyone for that matter. It's your freaking ego and don't accuse me of lying cos I never did! I did try and I did tried to stay exclusive for you alright! To begin with, you have no right to be possessive with me!
Koran did not get very much out of me! Now I regret cos I let you cram my style cos I was true to you in feelings and affection and made Koran and I feel guilty about that act! And guess what? He is heaps nicer to me! He doesn't deserve this from me! Chucking him a mental and not giving him what I could have given him for his time and potential loss of his jobs for his sleepless nights! When we parted at my door one night, Koran lingered on for a bit- and I told him "Go you sentimental fool!" I was callous to his feelings because I didn't think I could be giving of my feelings anymore. U, the Old Boy always overshadowing me and that guilt and loyalty I felt for you! I didn't know if I had much in my heart left to spare...
You used me like a whore towards the end and don't think I didn't know. I don't know why I allowed it when I told V I was so defeated, so defeated by my emotions for you- bloody sentimental me! I watched you fuck me and go to bed and how I knew you wanted to cum in my face. Cum bucket I was to you and how you shoved your dick so deep down my throat. But I had a lot of affection for you and so I complied. You were so milking me and getting your money's worth with P eh? How dare you said I was leading you on!
Old Boy, I looked at your face so many times in bed and searched your face for that glimmer of affection I thought I might detect on you for me. And each time, I felt defeated. I could always do with more sex but I was waiting in restlessness for you to hold me tight in bed and smother my neck with kisses and then I know I would have been happily appeased. But you continue being asleep and watching TV. And again, I never stopped giving up on you...What a sentimental fool I could be!
Ask no questions and I would be told no LIES by you and you would be told no TRUTH by me! Don't tell me we are victims of each other. Go re-visit, "Can you handle it?" I stick to my own script lest I upset that balance. Well and for you, stop fucking crying wolf cos like what you accused me of, you "knew" right from the start (which funnily enough, I didn't know that about me!)that I would "cheat" on you with Koran but you "trusted me" and let me go out with him! How fucking dare you to accuse me! You are the one who tried to lie to me and lead me on. You are such a good director of your own web of deceptions, chaos and pain!I don't fucking need a dramatic life! Now who's manage to successfully deceive who?
Now you say, you have forgiven me after creating this fucking online/sms emotional scene only to slap me in the face that you had also been naughty whilst I was around! How fucking dare you! You selfish son of a bitch! How dare you insult me and make me feel like a cheap whore at first with your crass money talk! How dare you! And then, I still forgive you!
You are so selfish, I cannot believe it! Tell me to stop publicly display my affections for you cos you were uncomfortable since you have so much to hide! You said I was upset and yes I was but because you had that bloody audacity to use me and assert your territory over me before Koran amongst my friends by outrightly kissing me and you had no qualms about doing that! You never stopped using me, Old Boy and I let you time and again. I never stop letting you get away with things! That servitude in me always wanted to make you happy cos I was aware that you did spent a fair bit for me given your situation and that our precious moments together were short! How dare you start becoming calculative with me? I should never have thought for you!
And I always thought you were my friend... when you hugged me tight while I teared over DL, I was grateful so grateful I wanted to make you a happy man for being there for me cos I know you are a condemned man with a fucked up marriage life. You have since trapped yourself to that pain and attachment of being part of a family unit. So I thought at least I would make you happy if not for these last 3 weeks. Put that inevitable ego aside about the other women on your side cos you see I could really put others before me...Think of that big picture. But you had your ego alright and look what I have allowed you to do to me? I should've only taken care of me first.
You break my heart, Old Boy! You really do... now I know, you never will catch me when I fall...
P
Labels: THE P-oignant Moments
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P, no words can appease a badly bruised ego, and no logic can penetrate a retentive arse hole.
Cut your losses, say your goodbyes. Nobody really lost, they just didn't win. Yet from the beginning, you knew there was no victory to be had.
Fools for sentiment, everyone was. Don't look back, not in anger nor in disappointment. Life has more to offer you than the bottom of a cheap whiskey glass.
V
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Cut your losses, say your goodbyes. Nobody really lost, they just didn't win. Yet from the beginning, you knew there was no victory to be had.
Fools for sentiment, everyone was. Don't look back, not in anger nor in disappointment. Life has more to offer you than the bottom of a cheap whiskey glass.
V
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