Sunday, May 25, 2008
A Breath of Fresh Air
So I finally bit the bullet.
I handed in my notice on Thursday and requested Friday be my last day.
The official reason to the outer world (as opposed to inner circle of certain members of the team of authorities) was that I was returning home to Singapore and travelling onwards to an exotic land in Asia to do some meditation.
When the internal announcement was made, the colleagues on the upper level went quiet.
Then came a flood of personal emails into my inbox by colleagues from around the world; some senior partners included.
I got a Tiffany & Co passport holder from the team as a farewell gift.
Then came the farewell drinks, the turnout was heaps more than usual-it wasn't even the designated week for the fortnightly Friday night boardroom drinks.
The boss made a speech and then I made one.
Then more drinks out of work ensued post the boardroom and continued at a nearby bar.
More tales were exchanged, more dirt I got but also people in the right places trying to get me back into the office.
A colleague wrote to say he was so sorry and sad to hear me leave. And then there were more. I received two bunches of flowers from close colleagues of mine.
There was also the Accountant who went a long way back with me at work. He's like my best friend. I often call him “Big Brother” in his national language-he's the same age as the Old Boy. We had many a drunken night hanging out together. He has an unhappy marriage though the wife is an absolutely lovely lady. One Christmas, they invited DL and I to their house.
In his tipsy state, he told me he was so sad that I was leaving. I laughed and said me too but I am not dead for god's sake as everyone went about moaning oh P, you are leaving. He said in a slight agitated and growing emphatic tone that he felt that I would be dead to him since I am leaving this country for good and that he felt something those times we hung out till the wee hours of the morning. Then he said on the night when the announcement was made, he laid in bed and cried.
The Accountant and I have been best of friends- he normally gets the dirt about the displeasure of my working conditions and then more about the sadness of my relationship with DL.
It felt weird, those confessions. A couple of times during our previous nights out, he would kiss me on my cheek. But I would like to think nothing of it-just him being his tipsy self.
He has always been a good friend- one night I got hung over and went home and he carried on alone as he is wont to do. The next day, we both didn't turn up for work and the boss rang him and said she would have a word with me too when I returned. Instead, he was quick to jump to my defence and said I left early as I was feeling unwell so there was nothing wrong and covered my ass.
Then there was also the time where he sacrificed a portion of his bonus in that pool to top up my bonuses. I have always been ever so grateful.
It's strange-almost overwhelming that night that I left on good enough terms. There was lots of goodwill around. I must feel heartened.
*****
It's strange tomorrow, not having to wake up to work.
I am having pre-Monday blues of the pleasant kind-not knowing where to start with the day ahead of me.
I better start getting used to it since I don't envision myself working for at least the next 3-4 months ahead. Even up to six months.
I look forward to returning home. I don't know if I would head onwards eventually or station myself there. But I think I am done with Australia- the land, the environment. I don't know about DL and the Fluffball-they are still ever so dear to my heart.
*****
The other day, I said to V that I quite fancy having a “normal” life again.
I have been in Australia for almost a decade now. Can you believe it-I have never been to the movies with anyone except for DL and the older sibling? I have never really been out with anyone to party on a weekend like what my gregarious nature is wont to do here since moving to this big city.
When I do return home in Singapore, I get partied out and would missed out on what Asians do as a national pastime in the day-window shopping on the weekend and having high tea or even weekend lunches or dinners with girlfriends. I quite fancy installing some normality in my life and see if I could adapt to that Singaporean way of leaving that I thought I left behind many moons ago.
I feel I am regressing but in a good way.
I've never had that luxury to take a sabbatical without worrying about money. For once, I do.
I recall the good part of my twenty-something years old struggling financially, working the restaurants and even washing dishes. Those days are gone, thank goodness. I seem to miss out on some fun like my peers do back home but ah well, such is life.
It's strange waking up tomorrow and thinking where should I start and what do I do?
But it feels like a fresh breath of air-I feel almost bold again and know that tomorrow on a Monday, I would not wake up like how I typically would. I would look forward to waking up early and not bury my head in the pillow and feel that sunken feeling in my heart once more.
Those last ten years have been a long March. But I am beginning to feel that I could see the light at the end of the tunnel soon.
So I finally bit the bullet.
I handed in my notice on Thursday and requested Friday be my last day.
The official reason to the outer world (as opposed to inner circle of certain members of the team of authorities) was that I was returning home to Singapore and travelling onwards to an exotic land in Asia to do some meditation.
When the internal announcement was made, the colleagues on the upper level went quiet.
Then came a flood of personal emails into my inbox by colleagues from around the world; some senior partners included.
I got a Tiffany & Co passport holder from the team as a farewell gift.
Then came the farewell drinks, the turnout was heaps more than usual-it wasn't even the designated week for the fortnightly Friday night boardroom drinks.
The boss made a speech and then I made one.
Then more drinks out of work ensued post the boardroom and continued at a nearby bar.
More tales were exchanged, more dirt I got but also people in the right places trying to get me back into the office.
A colleague wrote to say he was so sorry and sad to hear me leave. And then there were more. I received two bunches of flowers from close colleagues of mine.
There was also the Accountant who went a long way back with me at work. He's like my best friend. I often call him “Big Brother” in his national language-he's the same age as the Old Boy. We had many a drunken night hanging out together. He has an unhappy marriage though the wife is an absolutely lovely lady. One Christmas, they invited DL and I to their house.
In his tipsy state, he told me he was so sad that I was leaving. I laughed and said me too but I am not dead for god's sake as everyone went about moaning oh P, you are leaving. He said in a slight agitated and growing emphatic tone that he felt that I would be dead to him since I am leaving this country for good and that he felt something those times we hung out till the wee hours of the morning. Then he said on the night when the announcement was made, he laid in bed and cried.
The Accountant and I have been best of friends- he normally gets the dirt about the displeasure of my working conditions and then more about the sadness of my relationship with DL.
It felt weird, those confessions. A couple of times during our previous nights out, he would kiss me on my cheek. But I would like to think nothing of it-just him being his tipsy self.
He has always been a good friend- one night I got hung over and went home and he carried on alone as he is wont to do. The next day, we both didn't turn up for work and the boss rang him and said she would have a word with me too when I returned. Instead, he was quick to jump to my defence and said I left early as I was feeling unwell so there was nothing wrong and covered my ass.
Then there was also the time where he sacrificed a portion of his bonus in that pool to top up my bonuses. I have always been ever so grateful.
It's strange-almost overwhelming that night that I left on good enough terms. There was lots of goodwill around. I must feel heartened.
*****
It's strange tomorrow, not having to wake up to work.
I am having pre-Monday blues of the pleasant kind-not knowing where to start with the day ahead of me.
I better start getting used to it since I don't envision myself working for at least the next 3-4 months ahead. Even up to six months.
I look forward to returning home. I don't know if I would head onwards eventually or station myself there. But I think I am done with Australia- the land, the environment. I don't know about DL and the Fluffball-they are still ever so dear to my heart.
*****
The other day, I said to V that I quite fancy having a “normal” life again.
I have been in Australia for almost a decade now. Can you believe it-I have never been to the movies with anyone except for DL and the older sibling? I have never really been out with anyone to party on a weekend like what my gregarious nature is wont to do here since moving to this big city.
When I do return home in Singapore, I get partied out and would missed out on what Asians do as a national pastime in the day-window shopping on the weekend and having high tea or even weekend lunches or dinners with girlfriends. I quite fancy installing some normality in my life and see if I could adapt to that Singaporean way of leaving that I thought I left behind many moons ago.
I feel I am regressing but in a good way.
I've never had that luxury to take a sabbatical without worrying about money. For once, I do.
I recall the good part of my twenty-something years old struggling financially, working the restaurants and even washing dishes. Those days are gone, thank goodness. I seem to miss out on some fun like my peers do back home but ah well, such is life.
It's strange waking up tomorrow and thinking where should I start and what do I do?
But it feels like a fresh breath of air-I feel almost bold again and know that tomorrow on a Monday, I would not wake up like how I typically would. I would look forward to waking up early and not bury my head in the pillow and feel that sunken feeling in my heart once more.
Those last ten years have been a long March. But I am beginning to feel that I could see the light at the end of the tunnel soon.
