Friday, February 20, 2009
Stirred
I got awakened by DL's toilet flush in the wee hours of the morning and I couldn't sleep afterward. Lying in bed, my thoughts wander...
I felt the slow anxiety rising and my heart tightening slightly once again. I am aware of this feeling and that familiarity of it, that past in my personal history I would rather not have to go through again. Mindful of the potentially debilitating domino effect of how this depressive monstor could get me, I tried to switch my thoughts and went into a restless slumber.
I am reminded that I am not completely healed. My nerves are still a series of balancing acts. My heart has a mind of its own and a capacity to love indiscriminately...
Coincidentally, a couple of weeks ago, I chanced upon a book on name fortune-telling. It said this about my name- "Blind devotion to others will get you nowhere. Loyalty needs to be earned by others.”
Perhaps, it is my destiny to be a lovefool.
I should change my name.
I got awakened by DL's toilet flush in the wee hours of the morning and I couldn't sleep afterward. Lying in bed, my thoughts wander...
I felt the slow anxiety rising and my heart tightening slightly once again. I am aware of this feeling and that familiarity of it, that past in my personal history I would rather not have to go through again. Mindful of the potentially debilitating domino effect of how this depressive monstor could get me, I tried to switch my thoughts and went into a restless slumber.
I am reminded that I am not completely healed. My nerves are still a series of balancing acts. My heart has a mind of its own and a capacity to love indiscriminately...
Coincidentally, a couple of weeks ago, I chanced upon a book on name fortune-telling. It said this about my name- "Blind devotion to others will get you nowhere. Loyalty needs to be earned by others.”
Perhaps, it is my destiny to be a lovefool.
I should change my name.
