Monday, June 15, 2009
Ramble
There is something about my old world that I miss whenever I am back in Singapore. The late afternoon rendezvousing, the seedy hotels, my whisky intoxicated smoky eyes and then tiring myself out into the wee hours of the morning...
I like to be incognito at times and then playing the role of the mistress, the Lolita and the high school sweetheart. Role play is what I like- I used to participate in school plays.
When I was a child, I aspired to be a private detective to satiate my intrigue and curiousity of mystery. I searched the Job Classifieds section on jobs and one day, I found a job looking for a Trainee Private Investigator above age 18. I was thrilled that jobs like that did exist! But they needed someone who could ride a motorbike. I was neither eighteen nor did I have a riding license. But I thought perhaps someday...
During the age of eleven, I decided to pick up an Usborn published guidebook and settled on the “Spy Guidebook” instead of the “Detective” one. I tried to teach myself Morse Code but to no avail. I set up a secret gang amongst my classmates of boys and girls. I made myself the No. 2 in the group but the one with the controlling power who made the houserules and congregated them for meetings of secret assignments during recesses. I still flip through the book every so often when I am back in Singapore. I love it to bits.
Guess, the closest I ever came to becoming anything as cladestine and coverted was a headhunter having to map teams and organisations on a daily basis. I should have tried getting into a forensic job like B if I had wanted more excitement. Ah well, over with the corporate life! Shudders I get. I much prefer sitting in one dark corner of my house in Sad Town these days.
I grew up loving dark, cloudy days. I hate the sun. Maybe that explains my fairness. In fact, some days I simply look pale. I avoid the sun like a plague. I never get over why I stopped upping my offer for an Art Deco era basement apartment at hip Elizabeth Bay two years ago. It was dark enough for me and it has plantation shutters which I absolutely adore. The older sibling told me it might be too depressing for my soul. The Old Boy advised against it for the impracticality of it- things might get damp and mouldy too easily. I would have furnished it with dark wood, like a Polo Ralph Lauren boutique. Dark chocolate wooden book shelves from head to toe. A nice sturdy reclining leather arm chair with a standing white lamp shade for me to read or lie down to contemplate. My vintage 78s vinyl record player spinning away. The plantation style ceiling fan spinning away. White Sheridan continental hotel style crisp clean white bedsheets for me to take a lover home whenever I fancy. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise I didn't buy a place. Or how else could I have freed myself from the shackles of the corporate monster?
In the humid heat of Singapore and the number of close girlfriends wanting to conquer the world with me coming to a trickle since I dare say everyone is now pretty much settled down or unsettled in a recluse and want-to-be-left-alone way, I feel sedated half the time. I stopped feeling motivated to attend parties. In fact, I now develop a habit of standing people of the smart- set- kind up and never turn up on events I promised to attend. Before too long, the smses will stop coming in when I burnt up the end of my bridges. I just cannot be bothered to dress up and drag myself out of the house within my close friends at hand. I am turning into a recluse myself. It makes me severely depressed on some days to feel I am losing my friends.
Last week, I went to a party thrown by an American expatriate (seemingly an ex art dealer) in a shophouse refurbished to look like an Asian museum with artwork and balinese style wooden beds. There was a Buddha and water feature at the basement and more beds and rooms upstairs the three-story building. There were people galore and alcohol galore, obviously. Two Pinoy maids worked tirelessly to ensure there was enough food to keep going. There were also shishas galore in the living room on the topmost floor. Tipsy, sexy ladies were sprawled on some of the beds and other engaged in tittle tattle. I, too was in a daze, not from alcohol but a lack of focus. I wandered around talking to one person to another until I got bored and started staring into space next to small groups and nodded coherently whenever required. I brought a male friend, Coolios with me and he was awestruck with the quality of hot babes in the party as we bummed into our common friends. Singapore Society is small, I gather. “Please help yourself, Coolios,” I said. I couldn't be bothered. I have lost my roving eye.
The same day in the afternoon, I attended Harry's solemnisation at the Botanical Gardens. Finally, he has decided to tie the knot with the girl I knew would be his last girlfriend. They are such a good match. It was a hot day. I was there alone. Then came Dr. Jekyll & Hyde and his current girlfriend. She sat opposite me and him on her right. He said hi. She was quite nice and started talking to me. Another close guy friend of Harry sat on my left. We even went to get food from the buffet queue together. She asked if I knew anyone at Harry's wedding. I mentioned someone and also said I have met Dr. J & H briefly through Harry a long while ago. ;) During lunch, Dr. J & H tried to include me in the conversation. We were being polite as strangers who are wont to be when being allocated to sit together for meals. No, I didn't feel anything for him. When the ceremony ended, everyone was asking Dr. J & H for a lift to get out of the secluded place. “What about...?” he pointed at me quietly. I said I would be fine and would arrange for a cab. Thank you very much. So I bidded farewell to them all and left.
There is something about my old world that I miss whenever I am back in Singapore. The late afternoon rendezvousing, the seedy hotels, my whisky intoxicated smoky eyes and then tiring myself out into the wee hours of the morning...
I like to be incognito at times and then playing the role of the mistress, the Lolita and the high school sweetheart. Role play is what I like- I used to participate in school plays.
When I was a child, I aspired to be a private detective to satiate my intrigue and curiousity of mystery. I searched the Job Classifieds section on jobs and one day, I found a job looking for a Trainee Private Investigator above age 18. I was thrilled that jobs like that did exist! But they needed someone who could ride a motorbike. I was neither eighteen nor did I have a riding license. But I thought perhaps someday...
During the age of eleven, I decided to pick up an Usborn published guidebook and settled on the “Spy Guidebook” instead of the “Detective” one. I tried to teach myself Morse Code but to no avail. I set up a secret gang amongst my classmates of boys and girls. I made myself the No. 2 in the group but the one with the controlling power who made the houserules and congregated them for meetings of secret assignments during recesses. I still flip through the book every so often when I am back in Singapore. I love it to bits.
Guess, the closest I ever came to becoming anything as cladestine and coverted was a headhunter having to map teams and organisations on a daily basis. I should have tried getting into a forensic job like B if I had wanted more excitement. Ah well, over with the corporate life! Shudders I get. I much prefer sitting in one dark corner of my house in Sad Town these days.
I grew up loving dark, cloudy days. I hate the sun. Maybe that explains my fairness. In fact, some days I simply look pale. I avoid the sun like a plague. I never get over why I stopped upping my offer for an Art Deco era basement apartment at hip Elizabeth Bay two years ago. It was dark enough for me and it has plantation shutters which I absolutely adore. The older sibling told me it might be too depressing for my soul. The Old Boy advised against it for the impracticality of it- things might get damp and mouldy too easily. I would have furnished it with dark wood, like a Polo Ralph Lauren boutique. Dark chocolate wooden book shelves from head to toe. A nice sturdy reclining leather arm chair with a standing white lamp shade for me to read or lie down to contemplate. My vintage 78s vinyl record player spinning away. The plantation style ceiling fan spinning away. White Sheridan continental hotel style crisp clean white bedsheets for me to take a lover home whenever I fancy. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise I didn't buy a place. Or how else could I have freed myself from the shackles of the corporate monster?
In the humid heat of Singapore and the number of close girlfriends wanting to conquer the world with me coming to a trickle since I dare say everyone is now pretty much settled down or unsettled in a recluse and want-to-be-left-alone way, I feel sedated half the time. I stopped feeling motivated to attend parties. In fact, I now develop a habit of standing people of the smart- set- kind up and never turn up on events I promised to attend. Before too long, the smses will stop coming in when I burnt up the end of my bridges. I just cannot be bothered to dress up and drag myself out of the house within my close friends at hand. I am turning into a recluse myself. It makes me severely depressed on some days to feel I am losing my friends.
Last week, I went to a party thrown by an American expatriate (seemingly an ex art dealer) in a shophouse refurbished to look like an Asian museum with artwork and balinese style wooden beds. There was a Buddha and water feature at the basement and more beds and rooms upstairs the three-story building. There were people galore and alcohol galore, obviously. Two Pinoy maids worked tirelessly to ensure there was enough food to keep going. There were also shishas galore in the living room on the topmost floor. Tipsy, sexy ladies were sprawled on some of the beds and other engaged in tittle tattle. I, too was in a daze, not from alcohol but a lack of focus. I wandered around talking to one person to another until I got bored and started staring into space next to small groups and nodded coherently whenever required. I brought a male friend, Coolios with me and he was awestruck with the quality of hot babes in the party as we bummed into our common friends. Singapore Society is small, I gather. “Please help yourself, Coolios,” I said. I couldn't be bothered. I have lost my roving eye.
The same day in the afternoon, I attended Harry's solemnisation at the Botanical Gardens. Finally, he has decided to tie the knot with the girl I knew would be his last girlfriend. They are such a good match. It was a hot day. I was there alone. Then came Dr. Jekyll & Hyde and his current girlfriend. She sat opposite me and him on her right. He said hi. She was quite nice and started talking to me. Another close guy friend of Harry sat on my left. We even went to get food from the buffet queue together. She asked if I knew anyone at Harry's wedding. I mentioned someone and also said I have met Dr. J & H briefly through Harry a long while ago. ;) During lunch, Dr. J & H tried to include me in the conversation. We were being polite as strangers who are wont to be when being allocated to sit together for meals. No, I didn't feel anything for him. When the ceremony ended, everyone was asking Dr. J & H for a lift to get out of the secluded place. “What about...?” he pointed at me quietly. I said I would be fine and would arrange for a cab. Thank you very much. So I bidded farewell to them all and left.
