Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Two Minds
I can’t decide if I love my situation at the moment.
But being my own boss is definitely a lot better than working for someone else.
It stinks being a corporate slave.
If I become successful at what I do, I can change many people’s lives by helping them build profitable businesses.
Current cash flow is running low with all the advertising campaigns.
I have kind of used up my lifeline with my generous folks.
Over Daisy’s dinner party today, someone commented that I am lucky to be able to switch careers (or rather what I want to do) and make the choice of being my own boss.
Lately, whilst walking the dog, Daisy had asked me to stop envying the older sibling (the trophy child) because my folks have pretty much asked her to look for a property. Result: a lovely Art Deco apartment in the dress circle location of the lower north shore, a stone’s throw to the beaches.
Daisy was right. I must have been mildly jealous but nevertheless, I am still excited for the older sibling. I always wanted to own my own apartment before any of my friends or family even remotely considered one. Now I am still homeless.
I am constantly in the state of thinking what I want to do when I grow up.
I am constantly trying to find that “place” or haven that is home to my soul.
I always wanted to be a fashion designer when I grow up.
I still do. I am thirty. I am supposed to have grown up.
I find myself working on the mannequin on the weekend, draping and re-draping and embellishing the unfinished garment. I am still working on my circus theme collection- a project I have set for myself.
It brings comfort for me to seek refuge in creation. Maybe it brings me a glimmer of hope. Whatever that hope is.
A couple of hundred thousand dollars over expended to revamp my life and to unshackle me from the corporate world, I am still not a fashion designer by profession.
Art is food to my soul. I am still feeling unnourished.
I must’ve not grown up yet.
When will I grow up?
I can’t decide if I love my situation at the moment.
But being my own boss is definitely a lot better than working for someone else.
It stinks being a corporate slave.
If I become successful at what I do, I can change many people’s lives by helping them build profitable businesses.
Current cash flow is running low with all the advertising campaigns.
I have kind of used up my lifeline with my generous folks.
Over Daisy’s dinner party today, someone commented that I am lucky to be able to switch careers (or rather what I want to do) and make the choice of being my own boss.
Lately, whilst walking the dog, Daisy had asked me to stop envying the older sibling (the trophy child) because my folks have pretty much asked her to look for a property. Result: a lovely Art Deco apartment in the dress circle location of the lower north shore, a stone’s throw to the beaches.
Daisy was right. I must have been mildly jealous but nevertheless, I am still excited for the older sibling. I always wanted to own my own apartment before any of my friends or family even remotely considered one. Now I am still homeless.
I am constantly in the state of thinking what I want to do when I grow up.
I am constantly trying to find that “place” or haven that is home to my soul.
I always wanted to be a fashion designer when I grow up.
I still do. I am thirty. I am supposed to have grown up.
I find myself working on the mannequin on the weekend, draping and re-draping and embellishing the unfinished garment. I am still working on my circus theme collection- a project I have set for myself.
It brings comfort for me to seek refuge in creation. Maybe it brings me a glimmer of hope. Whatever that hope is.
A couple of hundred thousand dollars over expended to revamp my life and to unshackle me from the corporate world, I am still not a fashion designer by profession.
Art is food to my soul. I am still feeling unnourished.
I must’ve not grown up yet.
When will I grow up?
