Sunday, June 27, 2010
Surprises & being Grown Up
I have been getting one surprises after another since last week.
Or maybe I am just not in touch with the world.
My two best friends took turns on 2 consecutive days to drop me some big news.
First I received a facebook message by V to announce she is getting married to the German. The month is this September. OMG! I thought to myself. Just last week, I was just telling DL that I am not surprised if her boyfriend proposes this year. I better make some sales so that I could be back for my best friend's wedding or hens' night or whatever. Party like the old days...
It seems like just yesterday, two and the half years to be precise that we were out partying on Christmas Eve. V, Oscar and me and there we met the German. It was also this part of our hip lives where we were both single at the same time and catching up on fun times. The same holiday where I got involved with The Old Boy, Koran and the Norwegian... how time flies and still the memories remain somewhat fresh, I still think of the same person when I go to bed at night... have it already been 2.5 years?
Even Oscar, I think he is attached now...
****
So I logged onto my Facebook the next day and on my newsfeed or whatever you call that, that Dr. Jekyll & Hyde is engaged to his girlfriend... so that was 3.5 years ago the previous summer before that summer that V and I met the German, Norwegian and hung out with Oscar. It was the summer where I was still screwed up emotionally and playing the fool in my relationship with DL. V had problems with her ex-fiance and we were out at Velvet Underground with Didi who became V's next boyfriend after. It was a night of fun- bummed into E, my old friend Harry and met that Dr. Jekyll and Hyde through good old Harry. It was a night of frivolity. V and I each had (more than) a little flirtation with Harry's friends. Dr. J & H for me and a guy by the name of Chimmy for V. A night of fun...
So it's been 3.5 years ago eh?
Harry is married now to the new girl he met just the week we bummed into each other at Velvet and whom he couldn't stop talking to me about.
I heard Chimmy got married too.
Dr. J&H and V must have gotten proposed to and by (respectively) on the same day.
Now we must all be getting grown up.
*****
The very same day I saw Dr. J&H's engagement on Facebook which is the very next day V wrote me about her engagement, I got a strange text on my phone.
"Just baked my muffin. 3.16kg. c-section"
The number was from Singapore. It looked familiar but it slipped my mind who. I have been using DL's phone for awhile and hadn't transferred my contact numbers from one phone to the other.
I read the message in the car in a haste trying to rush to an appointment and whilst multi-tasking a few different things.
I replied, "Younger sibling?"
The reply came much later. "B".
"Yo what have you been up to?" I asked.
"I have just given birth to a bb ger."
"What?!"
I was dumbfounded. I mean I really was.
I was just about to ask when she is ever going to be pregnant.
And to find that the baby has popped just dumbfounded me!
I mean, she is my best friend. I thought I am supposed to know such things.
But then again, it's B. Always delivering any news in her typical nonchalant way, like's nothing is ever a big deal.
She had texted me a number of times regarding her lack of motivation to work. The last I heard from her was on my birthday where she texted me.
I couldn't drive straight from my meeting back.
I was disappointed, I didn't know and happy that she has a baby.
It was a strange feeling. So many surprising news in a span of 12 hours.
I started thinking as I drove on about how it was only July last year that I left home for Australia. We had a bit of a misunderstanding and she avoided me for a good 3 months before my instincts told me something was wrong-it wasn't her usual want-to-be-left-alone ways because she never not give me the time of the day. I am her best friend afterall.
I counted back the timing and figured she must have been pregnant by October.
It was sad I wasn't there to see her pregnant belly and to share her motherhood tales. One of my very first friends (plus my best friend) to become a mummy.
I thought about our fun days and how that too have become the most distant memory for god knows the longest time when B finally decided to settle down.
I felt happy for her and sad. Like I have lost a friend.
I silently wonder if it was just me that I was sad about.
It felt like I have lost touch with the world. With all my real problems in Sad Town to battle each day, I feel like I am so off the social radar. The saddest thing is it's my best friend here that I a talking about. I seem to have lost my magic touch.
After all, I miss home. I miss my friends and perhaps most of all, I miss having fun and feeling young. Maybe I am just afraid of growing old with no best friends to be partners in crime as we were wont to do whilst trying to conquer the world. Or was it to flaunt our youth?
*****
Putting my own ego or insecurity aside, I decided to adopt a positive attitude. Or rather, it was naturally replaced by an feeling of fuzziness. V and B are my bestest friends after all. They deserve all the happiness that Fate has bestowed on them.
I wrote V an instant reply message after months of non-reply given I was stuck in my own strife amidst all the crisises of my personal life.
I am happy for her. I told her I will try my best to be back and do a hens' night or something.
I reckon how can we glamourettes not kiss our bachelorettehood goodbye without its usual fanfare when we once strut our stuff at social settings like proud peacocks?
Hell, life should be one GREAT party after the next. But this is THE party to celebrate the next phase in one's life.
I am beginning to understand that phrase myself when a male cousin my age married his college sweetheart at around 25 years old. I asked him why and he said because they were ready for the next stage of their lives.
Most importantly, one of my Cassanova male friend that has been a good friend since I was 6 told me that when his Japanese wife proposed to him when she was 21 and he was 25, he said yes. Because it felt right. Even now, it is still right for them, 6 years on.
V wrote back to say she is ready to have babies. Puts a smile on my face.
I must have heard this a number of times this year from close friends. Right at this point, i know at least three people who are pregnant.
It must be coming of age.
I am a silly nostalgic person. Like a child who is determined never to grow up, I hold vivid memories of my misadventures and fun from those yesteryears that are only about 1000 days ago.
Still, in a 1000 days, many things can happen or not happen. Like the birth of a child. The celebration of life and death. The blossom or parting of romance.
Lately, I have been having what I call, unexpected dreams. Dreams of boys from my past. M is one and strangely, Mr. London this morning. No, I haven't been thinking of any of them.
I am afraid to dwell in the past of strong feelings. I thought I have exorcised the ghosts of my past, or rather my mind.
I am less emotional these days and have come to terms with what I want. A peaceful and happy life. Still working on it, constantly working on it.
Surprises.... are they really surprises? Or is it just a rite of passage in one's life?
Secretly, I wonder if I am ready to grow up too.
One day perhaps, one day.
Last year whilst Janine and I were shopping leisurely back home with her baby in tow, I asked her how she managed to cope. Janine and I used to share some fun, crazy days back here in Sad Town when we were poor students. Our social lives had crossed paths in Singapore back in the days. She was a player herself. She got married, planned to have a baby in 2 years after their honey mooney period but fell pregnant unexpectedly. She has undertook the role of mum and housewife so successfully, having been someone who has always been a strong corporate fighter. She told me, "One can never really be ready..."
I guess when one's thrown into the deep end of the pool, one learns to swim or sink.
Janine sure know what she is talking about. At age three, she fell into the pool and miraculously started swimming backstrokes and went on to be a national backstroker and one of her kind in the female division for a long time....
( more stories to come about my growing up!;))
I have been getting one surprises after another since last week.
Or maybe I am just not in touch with the world.
My two best friends took turns on 2 consecutive days to drop me some big news.
First I received a facebook message by V to announce she is getting married to the German. The month is this September. OMG! I thought to myself. Just last week, I was just telling DL that I am not surprised if her boyfriend proposes this year. I better make some sales so that I could be back for my best friend's wedding or hens' night or whatever. Party like the old days...
It seems like just yesterday, two and the half years to be precise that we were out partying on Christmas Eve. V, Oscar and me and there we met the German. It was also this part of our hip lives where we were both single at the same time and catching up on fun times. The same holiday where I got involved with The Old Boy, Koran and the Norwegian... how time flies and still the memories remain somewhat fresh, I still think of the same person when I go to bed at night... have it already been 2.5 years?
Even Oscar, I think he is attached now...
****
So I logged onto my Facebook the next day and on my newsfeed or whatever you call that, that Dr. Jekyll & Hyde is engaged to his girlfriend... so that was 3.5 years ago the previous summer before that summer that V and I met the German, Norwegian and hung out with Oscar. It was the summer where I was still screwed up emotionally and playing the fool in my relationship with DL. V had problems with her ex-fiance and we were out at Velvet Underground with Didi who became V's next boyfriend after. It was a night of fun- bummed into E, my old friend Harry and met that Dr. Jekyll and Hyde through good old Harry. It was a night of frivolity. V and I each had (more than) a little flirtation with Harry's friends. Dr. J & H for me and a guy by the name of Chimmy for V. A night of fun...
So it's been 3.5 years ago eh?
Harry is married now to the new girl he met just the week we bummed into each other at Velvet and whom he couldn't stop talking to me about.
I heard Chimmy got married too.
Dr. J&H and V must have gotten proposed to and by (respectively) on the same day.
Now we must all be getting grown up.
*****
The very same day I saw Dr. J&H's engagement on Facebook which is the very next day V wrote me about her engagement, I got a strange text on my phone.
"Just baked my muffin. 3.16kg. c-section"
The number was from Singapore. It looked familiar but it slipped my mind who. I have been using DL's phone for awhile and hadn't transferred my contact numbers from one phone to the other.
I read the message in the car in a haste trying to rush to an appointment and whilst multi-tasking a few different things.
I replied, "Younger sibling?"
The reply came much later. "B".
"Yo what have you been up to?" I asked.
"I have just given birth to a bb ger."
"What?!"
I was dumbfounded. I mean I really was.
I was just about to ask when she is ever going to be pregnant.
And to find that the baby has popped just dumbfounded me!
I mean, she is my best friend. I thought I am supposed to know such things.
But then again, it's B. Always delivering any news in her typical nonchalant way, like's nothing is ever a big deal.
She had texted me a number of times regarding her lack of motivation to work. The last I heard from her was on my birthday where she texted me.
I couldn't drive straight from my meeting back.
I was disappointed, I didn't know and happy that she has a baby.
It was a strange feeling. So many surprising news in a span of 12 hours.
I started thinking as I drove on about how it was only July last year that I left home for Australia. We had a bit of a misunderstanding and she avoided me for a good 3 months before my instincts told me something was wrong-it wasn't her usual want-to-be-left-alone ways because she never not give me the time of the day. I am her best friend afterall.
I counted back the timing and figured she must have been pregnant by October.
It was sad I wasn't there to see her pregnant belly and to share her motherhood tales. One of my very first friends (plus my best friend) to become a mummy.
I thought about our fun days and how that too have become the most distant memory for god knows the longest time when B finally decided to settle down.
I felt happy for her and sad. Like I have lost a friend.
I silently wonder if it was just me that I was sad about.
It felt like I have lost touch with the world. With all my real problems in Sad Town to battle each day, I feel like I am so off the social radar. The saddest thing is it's my best friend here that I a talking about. I seem to have lost my magic touch.
After all, I miss home. I miss my friends and perhaps most of all, I miss having fun and feeling young. Maybe I am just afraid of growing old with no best friends to be partners in crime as we were wont to do whilst trying to conquer the world. Or was it to flaunt our youth?
*****
Putting my own ego or insecurity aside, I decided to adopt a positive attitude. Or rather, it was naturally replaced by an feeling of fuzziness. V and B are my bestest friends after all. They deserve all the happiness that Fate has bestowed on them.
I wrote V an instant reply message after months of non-reply given I was stuck in my own strife amidst all the crisises of my personal life.
I am happy for her. I told her I will try my best to be back and do a hens' night or something.
I reckon how can we glamourettes not kiss our bachelorettehood goodbye without its usual fanfare when we once strut our stuff at social settings like proud peacocks?
Hell, life should be one GREAT party after the next. But this is THE party to celebrate the next phase in one's life.
I am beginning to understand that phrase myself when a male cousin my age married his college sweetheart at around 25 years old. I asked him why and he said because they were ready for the next stage of their lives.
Most importantly, one of my Cassanova male friend that has been a good friend since I was 6 told me that when his Japanese wife proposed to him when she was 21 and he was 25, he said yes. Because it felt right. Even now, it is still right for them, 6 years on.
V wrote back to say she is ready to have babies. Puts a smile on my face.
I must have heard this a number of times this year from close friends. Right at this point, i know at least three people who are pregnant.
It must be coming of age.
I am a silly nostalgic person. Like a child who is determined never to grow up, I hold vivid memories of my misadventures and fun from those yesteryears that are only about 1000 days ago.
Still, in a 1000 days, many things can happen or not happen. Like the birth of a child. The celebration of life and death. The blossom or parting of romance.
Lately, I have been having what I call, unexpected dreams. Dreams of boys from my past. M is one and strangely, Mr. London this morning. No, I haven't been thinking of any of them.
I am afraid to dwell in the past of strong feelings. I thought I have exorcised the ghosts of my past, or rather my mind.
I am less emotional these days and have come to terms with what I want. A peaceful and happy life. Still working on it, constantly working on it.
Surprises.... are they really surprises? Or is it just a rite of passage in one's life?
Secretly, I wonder if I am ready to grow up too.
One day perhaps, one day.
Last year whilst Janine and I were shopping leisurely back home with her baby in tow, I asked her how she managed to cope. Janine and I used to share some fun, crazy days back here in Sad Town when we were poor students. Our social lives had crossed paths in Singapore back in the days. She was a player herself. She got married, planned to have a baby in 2 years after their honey mooney period but fell pregnant unexpectedly. She has undertook the role of mum and housewife so successfully, having been someone who has always been a strong corporate fighter. She told me, "One can never really be ready..."
I guess when one's thrown into the deep end of the pool, one learns to swim or sink.
Janine sure know what she is talking about. At age three, she fell into the pool and miraculously started swimming backstrokes and went on to be a national backstroker and one of her kind in the female division for a long time....
( more stories to come about my growing up!;))
