Monday, July 26, 2010
Lately...
I keep getting dreams of ex-lovers and flings...
In case you are wondering, I haven't or have no wish to pull out old skeletons from the closets or rattle any cages. Emotionally, mentally and physically speaking. I haven't been reminiscing or thinking of anyone.
But I kept getting random dreams- a re-surface of my sub-conscious. Those feelings in some form of hurt, shame, guilt, fear and disappointment I might have experienced with those various individuals.
2 weeks ago, I had a couple of dreams on consecutive dreams on the Koran. Then came The Man (yes, I still have a story to tell about our meeting), followed by M and just last night, Nano.
The Koran and Nano dreams stirred me with the most poignant and surreal emotions. In one of the dreams, the Koran suddenly pull open the shower curtain whilst I was showering exposing my naked body which I was quick to cover my breasts. He meant to mock but a hurt expression was written on his face. Whilst in the other dream with Nano, it felt like a sequel to our real life encounter where we parted at a train station in Sydney many moons ago. Three years to be exact. Here in the dream, there was another girl from Manila and there was me. He chose the other girl. He just wasn't in love enough with me.
Last night's dream with Nano opened up a can of worms in the form of memories. I remember my precarious emotional and mental state. I don't think I would ever fall back to be that emotional train wreck that I was. I have moved on but still my past continues to haunt me and stir my thoughts as I read my old entry.
I keep getting dreams of ex-lovers and flings...
In case you are wondering, I haven't or have no wish to pull out old skeletons from the closets or rattle any cages. Emotionally, mentally and physically speaking. I haven't been reminiscing or thinking of anyone.
But I kept getting random dreams- a re-surface of my sub-conscious. Those feelings in some form of hurt, shame, guilt, fear and disappointment I might have experienced with those various individuals.
2 weeks ago, I had a couple of dreams on consecutive dreams on the Koran. Then came The Man (yes, I still have a story to tell about our meeting), followed by M and just last night, Nano.
The Koran and Nano dreams stirred me with the most poignant and surreal emotions. In one of the dreams, the Koran suddenly pull open the shower curtain whilst I was showering exposing my naked body which I was quick to cover my breasts. He meant to mock but a hurt expression was written on his face. Whilst in the other dream with Nano, it felt like a sequel to our real life encounter where we parted at a train station in Sydney many moons ago. Three years to be exact. Here in the dream, there was another girl from Manila and there was me. He chose the other girl. He just wasn't in love enough with me.
Last night's dream with Nano opened up a can of worms in the form of memories. I remember my precarious emotional and mental state. I don't think I would ever fall back to be that emotional train wreck that I was. I have moved on but still my past continues to haunt me and stir my thoughts as I read my old entry.
