Friday, September 23, 2011
Blast from the Past...
I must really thank Facebook. Today has been a somewhat lovely day despite a few serious issues and legally precarious situation I am in at work.
I found my old friend AM. Even better news is that AM and DS are now friends. The last I have spoken to DS 3 years ago, the two were not talking.
Anyway, AM has recently got married and lots have happened in his life. Like me, he had lived many times over with the ups and downs in his business ventures and personal lives.
It was nice to catch up. I haven't seen him since that faithful night sometime in 2000 when he came to my house drunk late one night to confess that he was in love with me all this time.
So we started talking and he mentioned he remembered that night and he wasn't drunk. He asked me the same question again as he did that same faithful night- did I remember what I promise him before I left for Australia?
We quickly warmed up chatting like the way we did. He said he remembered the first day we met. That was some 15 years ago and I must say I too remember what I wore and that night.
AM has recently got married and he asked me when it would be my turn and if DL was good to me. Funny he said I am not an easy person to handle and DL must have been a patient man. It's strange coming from an old friend who used to like me. The thing about me being difficult sounded all too familiar. I have heard that from DL, the Old Boy and perhaps some other guy that I had a thing going with. But coming from someone from the past, it starts to make me wonder if there is something fundamentally flawed in my personality.
AM went on to write and wonder aloud if he could still remember my voice. He said I had a unique voice that can be quite irritating when I whined. I was highly amused with his candidness and served him a tongue-in-cheek comeback- "that's why the boys love and hate me!:p" He replied hahahahha... I can be super dramatic queen, like I meant to be a caricature of myself. B used to get the goose bumps when she heard me whine on the phone to DL so I knew what AM meant he said it was "irritating". I didn't know he could remember so much about me.
AM said he wished I never went to Australia and said I changed after that. Which part, I asked? I am still childish and whiney at age 32. He said I just changed.
Have I, really?
But in his mind, P is always that really sweet girl.
He thought I would have bee a tai-tai by now. Obviously not, still struggling and the usual, I laughed.
He said I left an impact in his life when we got to know each other.
How, I asked? He didn't answer.
Tonight, having re-connected with AM gave me a sense of hope.
I don't know what it meant but it took me down to a happy place in my life. Perhaps that innocent, young-at-heart place I once was. That place where I was once in my element or at my prime.
AM remembered me as a super energiser. I don't see that in me now.
It seems like once upon a time, I had that magic touch with friends and people.
For the past few years, I haven't feel so, especially of late. Work puts me down and I often find salaried employment having a draining effect of me. It doesn't help that trouble is brewing at work for me due to an error of judgement I made a while ago that can snowball to something quite consequential. I hold my breath each day I get into work.
The other day, the psychologist who works a few rooms away from me bummed into each other at the kitchen. She invited me to her office to have a friendly chat. I confided in her about my job and funnily, she suggested I should quit it as she felt it wasn't for me. "Your energy comes across as someone bubbly and personable. DOn't let work get you down and make you doubt yourself. I have seen a lot of people coming through to see me with a similar situation with work..."
It was a nice conversation and she gave me some good pragmatic advice to think things through...
I am trying to go along with the signs...
Let's see where all this takes me since it must not be so coincidental that AM and I got in touch again.
It was like some Divine Intervention needed me to continue believing in myself and go back to that happy place...
I must really thank Facebook. Today has been a somewhat lovely day despite a few serious issues and legally precarious situation I am in at work.
I found my old friend AM. Even better news is that AM and DS are now friends. The last I have spoken to DS 3 years ago, the two were not talking.
Anyway, AM has recently got married and lots have happened in his life. Like me, he had lived many times over with the ups and downs in his business ventures and personal lives.
It was nice to catch up. I haven't seen him since that faithful night sometime in 2000 when he came to my house drunk late one night to confess that he was in love with me all this time.
So we started talking and he mentioned he remembered that night and he wasn't drunk. He asked me the same question again as he did that same faithful night- did I remember what I promise him before I left for Australia?
We quickly warmed up chatting like the way we did. He said he remembered the first day we met. That was some 15 years ago and I must say I too remember what I wore and that night.
AM has recently got married and he asked me when it would be my turn and if DL was good to me. Funny he said I am not an easy person to handle and DL must have been a patient man. It's strange coming from an old friend who used to like me. The thing about me being difficult sounded all too familiar. I have heard that from DL, the Old Boy and perhaps some other guy that I had a thing going with. But coming from someone from the past, it starts to make me wonder if there is something fundamentally flawed in my personality.
AM went on to write and wonder aloud if he could still remember my voice. He said I had a unique voice that can be quite irritating when I whined. I was highly amused with his candidness and served him a tongue-in-cheek comeback- "that's why the boys love and hate me!:p" He replied hahahahha... I can be super dramatic queen, like I meant to be a caricature of myself. B used to get the goose bumps when she heard me whine on the phone to DL so I knew what AM meant he said it was "irritating". I didn't know he could remember so much about me.
AM said he wished I never went to Australia and said I changed after that. Which part, I asked? I am still childish and whiney at age 32. He said I just changed.
Have I, really?
But in his mind, P is always that really sweet girl.
He thought I would have bee a tai-tai by now. Obviously not, still struggling and the usual, I laughed.
He said I left an impact in his life when we got to know each other.
How, I asked? He didn't answer.
Tonight, having re-connected with AM gave me a sense of hope.
I don't know what it meant but it took me down to a happy place in my life. Perhaps that innocent, young-at-heart place I once was. That place where I was once in my element or at my prime.
AM remembered me as a super energiser. I don't see that in me now.
It seems like once upon a time, I had that magic touch with friends and people.
For the past few years, I haven't feel so, especially of late. Work puts me down and I often find salaried employment having a draining effect of me. It doesn't help that trouble is brewing at work for me due to an error of judgement I made a while ago that can snowball to something quite consequential. I hold my breath each day I get into work.
The other day, the psychologist who works a few rooms away from me bummed into each other at the kitchen. She invited me to her office to have a friendly chat. I confided in her about my job and funnily, she suggested I should quit it as she felt it wasn't for me. "Your energy comes across as someone bubbly and personable. DOn't let work get you down and make you doubt yourself. I have seen a lot of people coming through to see me with a similar situation with work..."
It was a nice conversation and she gave me some good pragmatic advice to think things through...
I am trying to go along with the signs...
Let's see where all this takes me since it must not be so coincidental that AM and I got in touch again.
It was like some Divine Intervention needed me to continue believing in myself and go back to that happy place...
