Monday, April 01, 2013
On an Easter Sunday...
it is strange chancing upon photos of ex-flings on Facebook and realising that he has got married and is just about to become a father...
Perhaps, one part of me could never believe that one day we would all grow up and get married and become parents like grown ups are supposed to do in the natural cycle of life...
******
This said person, E was an old crush from my junior college days in the late 1990s. Another of Harry's school friend. He was a sport jock (ex swimmer) who was supposed to be hard to get. So when he asked for my name and called me to go out every weekend when he booked out of the army, I thought we had a good deal going. But before any action happened, he disappeared just as quickly after his Brunei training trip and me giving him a little present of a teddy bear. No return of pager messages. Shortly after, I bumped into him at Borders. For that split second, we looked at each other and then I walked away. I decided to write him off as a bad debt.
Fast forward to 2005. Somehow it must be Facebook or something, we got in touch. He asked me out whilst I was back in Singapore for holidays. We watched " The Lion, the witch and wardrobe" and he turned all sleazy. Totally not the innocent schoolboy that I was once infatuated with. Some fun times we had but I was determined for him to stay as a summer fling. In my twisted mind, I continued teasing him but would never give myself to him completely (amongst other things I made him do in my own sick private way to "punish" him whilst my mind felt pleasured by the thought), being reminded of how he went cold on me in our teens...
Came 2007, I bumped into him again in Velvet Underground but not without bumping into Harry first. As he was much shorter than Harry, he was blocked from my view. At this stage, I hadn't seen Harry in a number of years and was all excited.
E was on the prowl that night it seemed. He tried to text me to resume where we left off the previous summer but that night, I was sidetracked by another of Harry's friend, Jekyl and Hyde...
E felt nothing more than a sleazebag and I wished he had remained in my memory as that innocent, gentlemanly and somewhat nerdy junior college schoolboy that I was once infatuated with...
******
In my intimacies with half strangers and catching a glimpse of their "prowling" side, I often wonder silently how they are like with their chosen life partners in the department of intimacy...
*******
His wife and him look really happy in the picture.
In fact, he looks a little bit nerdy in his glasses like he has regressed back to his youthful days. That nicer, benign guy which I once adored. Not so sleazy (those days of asking a girl to go to a hotel must be over, I hope for his wife). But then again, like attract like. He could well be that sleazebag perhaps because I gave off that vibe of a wild cat. A ravenous, wild cat I was in those days. I am glad my off-the-rails days are over...
Guess everyone must grow up one day and settle down. And he has found that someone to share the rest of his life with. I wish him the very best.
Every pot has its lid, I believe.
I wonder if I would find mine one day.
Perhaps, one part of me could never believe that one day we would all grow up and get married and become parents like grown ups are supposed to do in the natural cycle of life...
******
This said person, E was an old crush from my junior college days in the late 1990s. Another of Harry's school friend. He was a sport jock (ex swimmer) who was supposed to be hard to get. So when he asked for my name and called me to go out every weekend when he booked out of the army, I thought we had a good deal going. But before any action happened, he disappeared just as quickly after his Brunei training trip and me giving him a little present of a teddy bear. No return of pager messages. Shortly after, I bumped into him at Borders. For that split second, we looked at each other and then I walked away. I decided to write him off as a bad debt.
Fast forward to 2005. Somehow it must be Facebook or something, we got in touch. He asked me out whilst I was back in Singapore for holidays. We watched " The Lion, the witch and wardrobe" and he turned all sleazy. Totally not the innocent schoolboy that I was once infatuated with. Some fun times we had but I was determined for him to stay as a summer fling. In my twisted mind, I continued teasing him but would never give myself to him completely (amongst other things I made him do in my own sick private way to "punish" him whilst my mind felt pleasured by the thought), being reminded of how he went cold on me in our teens...
Came 2007, I bumped into him again in Velvet Underground but not without bumping into Harry first. As he was much shorter than Harry, he was blocked from my view. At this stage, I hadn't seen Harry in a number of years and was all excited.
E was on the prowl that night it seemed. He tried to text me to resume where we left off the previous summer but that night, I was sidetracked by another of Harry's friend, Jekyl and Hyde...
E felt nothing more than a sleazebag and I wished he had remained in my memory as that innocent, gentlemanly and somewhat nerdy junior college schoolboy that I was once infatuated with...
******
In my intimacies with half strangers and catching a glimpse of their "prowling" side, I often wonder silently how they are like with their chosen life partners in the department of intimacy...
*******
His wife and him look really happy in the picture.
In fact, he looks a little bit nerdy in his glasses like he has regressed back to his youthful days. That nicer, benign guy which I once adored. Not so sleazy (those days of asking a girl to go to a hotel must be over, I hope for his wife). But then again, like attract like. He could well be that sleazebag perhaps because I gave off that vibe of a wild cat. A ravenous, wild cat I was in those days. I am glad my off-the-rails days are over...
Guess everyone must grow up one day and settle down. And he has found that someone to share the rest of his life with. I wish him the very best.
Every pot has its lid, I believe.
I wonder if I would find mine one day.
