Monday, July 22, 2013
Emotions...
are drivers for one to move mountains, kill in a fit of passion, to lose all reasonable senses and even self-respect...
I have in my short life experienced first hand what the all powerful emotion, Love could do to someone.
Methinks I have been loved twice in my life.
DL- being that first person whom I have met and who is so giving of himself in all aspects. Then of course, I tested his patience too and with my provocation, I had roused so much pain and anger in him, he did the unthinkable.
My heart often feel this particular tug with every thought of his tenderness and caring-ness. I asked myself what I could have done better and why did I let an otherwise lovely fairy tale romance turn so wrong?
Then there is him.
That half-stranger who has the same degree of caring-ness as DL and perhaps more. And him throwing caution to the wind after 4 years of waiting out and mending his broken heart. He has decided that I am the one for him and so with that, he parked all he has in my name. He trusts no one.
Me. P. His stranger girlfriend.
And he said what DL once said. Love is all in the feeling. You show it with actions, not words.
***
The other night, at 5am in the morning, my ringing phone roused me to awakeness.
It was him.
Baby, I've just had a nightmare. I kept calling out to you and you kept ignoring me.
The voice was emphatic and vulnerable. I thought he was crying.
Baby, I am here. It is just a nightmare. Now you've rung me, I am not ignoring you, am I? I am real. Now go to bed...
***
The thought of having an old love make way of a new love daunts me.
I love the familiarity of DL being in my life but the inevitability of a new contender with just as big a heart to give me can be fairly overwhelming for me.
I find myself crying a lot at thought of being stuck. Stuck between two loves.
Who says having choices is good thing?
I have in my short life experienced first hand what the all powerful emotion, Love could do to someone.
Methinks I have been loved twice in my life.
DL- being that first person whom I have met and who is so giving of himself in all aspects. Then of course, I tested his patience too and with my provocation, I had roused so much pain and anger in him, he did the unthinkable.
My heart often feel this particular tug with every thought of his tenderness and caring-ness. I asked myself what I could have done better and why did I let an otherwise lovely fairy tale romance turn so wrong?
Then there is him.
That half-stranger who has the same degree of caring-ness as DL and perhaps more. And him throwing caution to the wind after 4 years of waiting out and mending his broken heart. He has decided that I am the one for him and so with that, he parked all he has in my name. He trusts no one.
Me. P. His stranger girlfriend.
And he said what DL once said. Love is all in the feeling. You show it with actions, not words.
***
The other night, at 5am in the morning, my ringing phone roused me to awakeness.
It was him.
Baby, I've just had a nightmare. I kept calling out to you and you kept ignoring me.
The voice was emphatic and vulnerable. I thought he was crying.
Baby, I am here. It is just a nightmare. Now you've rung me, I am not ignoring you, am I? I am real. Now go to bed...
***
The thought of having an old love make way of a new love daunts me.
I love the familiarity of DL being in my life but the inevitability of a new contender with just as big a heart to give me can be fairly overwhelming for me.
I find myself crying a lot at thought of being stuck. Stuck between two loves.
Who says having choices is good thing?
