Friday, June 08, 2007
Some things never change...
My beloved M turned 24 years old last weekend.
Yes, last weekend where my dog had her 10th birthday, I nearly pulled the trigger on my long term relationship with DL and when Nano started acting cold since then and have not (and I presume will not) turn back (a case of getting rational too fast too soon).
It was definitely an eventful weekend with DL and Fluffball taking first priority in my mind.
As for M, I was careful to suppress bitter sweet memories. After all, they were a thing of the past. For the nth time, I ask myself, "What's the point?"
Nevertheless, I emailed him a short Happy Birthday.
Just got a reply. He had spent the week in Bueno Aires and has just got back to Santiago.
He has stopped asking or sussing out my relationship status since the last time a few weeks ago. I didn't leave him to guess- told him things are still the way it was since we parted in Singapore.
I wonder who he went to Bueno Aires with. Why should I care who, I ask myself? Stupid P!
He never fails to put me in a strangely emotionally teary place even now. It seems like all I could ever remember of us are the tears and my pain. And most poignantly, his tender hugs and kisses that would continue to haunt me till the end of time in that Parisian apartment at Le Marais on that beautiful Saturday morning in Autumn 2004 that somehow found its way back to my heart in Singapore 2005/2006...
He had turned 21 when we met("you are lying," I said when we first met as I didn't know any better)and now he is 24.
He must be the second man who is ever so capable of turning a fiesty P into an emotional bag of tears after DL. But somehow, it's a different set of tears. Not frustration, just pain. Pain that we could never be.
Isn't it about time the ghost be exorcised?
My beloved M turned 24 years old last weekend.
Yes, last weekend where my dog had her 10th birthday, I nearly pulled the trigger on my long term relationship with DL and when Nano started acting cold since then and have not (and I presume will not) turn back (a case of getting rational too fast too soon).
It was definitely an eventful weekend with DL and Fluffball taking first priority in my mind.
As for M, I was careful to suppress bitter sweet memories. After all, they were a thing of the past. For the nth time, I ask myself, "What's the point?"
Nevertheless, I emailed him a short Happy Birthday.
Just got a reply. He had spent the week in Bueno Aires and has just got back to Santiago.
He has stopped asking or sussing out my relationship status since the last time a few weeks ago. I didn't leave him to guess- told him things are still the way it was since we parted in Singapore.
I wonder who he went to Bueno Aires with. Why should I care who, I ask myself? Stupid P!
He never fails to put me in a strangely emotionally teary place even now. It seems like all I could ever remember of us are the tears and my pain. And most poignantly, his tender hugs and kisses that would continue to haunt me till the end of time in that Parisian apartment at Le Marais on that beautiful Saturday morning in Autumn 2004 that somehow found its way back to my heart in Singapore 2005/2006...
He had turned 21 when we met("you are lying," I said when we first met as I didn't know any better)and now he is 24.
He must be the second man who is ever so capable of turning a fiesty P into an emotional bag of tears after DL. But somehow, it's a different set of tears. Not frustration, just pain. Pain that we could never be.
Isn't it about time the ghost be exorcised?
