Friday, June 05, 2009
Back Home
I am sad. I am tipsy.
I realise that the construction is still going on in Orchard Road, just like when I last left it last October. The only thing that hasn't changed much since I left, like my wretched heart.
But many things have moved on. V's fling of two years ago, the same night I met Dr. Jekyll and Hyde, is getting married to some girl. Harry's getting married too this Saturday to the girl we both predicted he would marry. It seems like Dr. J & H will be sitting on the same table as me, his current girlfriend to be there too. Now, that will be interesting...
V has recently bought an apartment too with her German we met through Oscar on Christmas Eve 2007, the same holiday the Old Boy and I hooked up. People have all moved on. But why am I still feeling the same wretched feeling that I feel? Sometimes I really cannot bear myself. I keep feeling this wrench within my heart, I feel so fucking pathetic...
I love the familiarity of Kampung Bahru in Singapore with Dancer. He takes me there for cheap beers, catch ups and chinese-sy (read “Cheena”) karaoke sessions. I love hearing the crooners belt out their love songs, each Chinese lyrics a resonation to the heart of Dancer and mine. Ironically, we both could sing along to the lyrics on the screen, even when we have only heard it for the first time in our lives....
I feel sad. A tug at my heart. These are the times when I cannot stand myself any much longer... I wish I were dead.
I am sad. I am tipsy.
I realise that the construction is still going on in Orchard Road, just like when I last left it last October. The only thing that hasn't changed much since I left, like my wretched heart.
But many things have moved on. V's fling of two years ago, the same night I met Dr. Jekyll and Hyde, is getting married to some girl. Harry's getting married too this Saturday to the girl we both predicted he would marry. It seems like Dr. J & H will be sitting on the same table as me, his current girlfriend to be there too. Now, that will be interesting...
V has recently bought an apartment too with her German we met through Oscar on Christmas Eve 2007, the same holiday the Old Boy and I hooked up. People have all moved on. But why am I still feeling the same wretched feeling that I feel? Sometimes I really cannot bear myself. I keep feeling this wrench within my heart, I feel so fucking pathetic...
I love the familiarity of Kampung Bahru in Singapore with Dancer. He takes me there for cheap beers, catch ups and chinese-sy (read “Cheena”) karaoke sessions. I love hearing the crooners belt out their love songs, each Chinese lyrics a resonation to the heart of Dancer and mine. Ironically, we both could sing along to the lyrics on the screen, even when we have only heard it for the first time in our lives....
I feel sad. A tug at my heart. These are the times when I cannot stand myself any much longer... I wish I were dead.
