Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Lost Cause
Last Friday:
Guess who’s coming back to Asia?
When?
To Singapore from xx/xx/07 to xx/xx/08. As for Manila, it all depends.
Wow that’s so far. Let me know if u head over:) Sex?
Huh? Don’t get your previous sms!
Wana have sex when u visit?
What sort of question is that and how do you expect me to answer? Is this some trick question?
Am just weird today:) ignore me
Now answer me Nano- is sex all you want to get out of me?
Nope. Now you are weird too:)
No I am not. I meant to ask you for awhile now cos it gives me clarity going forward and would impact on my decision-making.
Last night:
Hey, what are you doing?
Watching TV.
What are you watching?
News and heroes
Ok. Have you been misbehaving?
Have u? Am dying too, you were the last fun I had
Nope and its not my usual practice these days. So now I am your good time girl eh?
I wish you were but you are a friend first :)
If so, why did you leave without saying goodbye?
Don’t get you
If u r a friend, why did u leave Sydney without saying goodbye? Why did you only wait until you get back home before u text me and asked what was the impt thing I meant to tell you?
Enough said!
Last Friday:
Guess who’s coming back to Asia?
When?
To Singapore from xx/xx/07 to xx/xx/08. As for Manila, it all depends.
Wow that’s so far. Let me know if u head over:) Sex?
Huh? Don’t get your previous sms!
Wana have sex when u visit?
What sort of question is that and how do you expect me to answer? Is this some trick question?
Am just weird today:) ignore me
Now answer me Nano- is sex all you want to get out of me?
Nope. Now you are weird too:)
No I am not. I meant to ask you for awhile now cos it gives me clarity going forward and would impact on my decision-making.
Last night:
Hey, what are you doing?
Watching TV.
What are you watching?
News and heroes
Ok. Have you been misbehaving?
Have u? Am dying too, you were the last fun I had
Nope and its not my usual practice these days. So now I am your good time girl eh?
I wish you were but you are a friend first :)
If so, why did you leave without saying goodbye?
Don’t get you
If u r a friend, why did u leave Sydney without saying goodbye? Why did you only wait until you get back home before u text me and asked what was the impt thing I meant to tell you?
Enough said!
Friday, October 05, 2007
THE French Lover
I remember you because the sex was great
magic fingers tongue and dick
pont cap we have done without
but found my old self in the midst
love the tune that played with it
our beginning perfect
mutual attraction at first sight
mini twist along the way
to our brief romantic affair
our parting imperfect
lousy and then the pain
settled in day or two later
you still look ever so swell
I wish you well
but it’s you I should never dwell
I remember you because the sex was (really) great
what have you remember of me
I wonder deep
was it the exciting sex
or a first with an Asian in your suite
I remember you because the sex was great
magic fingers tongue and dick
pont cap we have done without
but found my old self in the midst
love the tune that played with it
our beginning perfect
mutual attraction at first sight
mini twist along the way
to our brief romantic affair
our parting imperfect
lousy and then the pain
settled in day or two later
you still look ever so swell
I wish you well
but it’s you I should never dwell
I remember you because the sex was (really) great
what have you remember of me
I wonder deep
was it the exciting sex
or a first with an Asian in your suite
Labels: THE P-oignant Moments
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Rambling P
Ok, am I supposed to puke or what? The stalker in me went back to that curious site! Bitch in question is showing off pictures of her Baby No. 2 9-week old pregnancy scans and she posted the results of Look-alike Meter where their baby quite unfortunately looks 8% more like her. Pictures after pictures that she is fond of posting- some people really have nothing better to do except to pretty up for the husband, feed, clean and wash both child and husband and fucking work those ovaries alright and start reproducing mini-mes like a sow!
Today, I was included with the rest of the team to visit the boss’s newborn baby girl. As usual, I was the only one refrained from carrying the bundle of joy in my arms, citing clumsiness that prevents me from being able to handle such a precious little living creature! Well, that is partly true but in reality, I am not much of a coo-ing, maternal type of person. I seriously would end up crying if the baby was crying and the last I needed was to get into such a predicament! As a matter of fact, I have trouble taking care of myself. I am too much of a big baby- my mum thinks so and so does DL! The ladies and the proud mother were discussing how funny and anxious the proud father is! He’s already thought about the schools and has put down the deposit for high school for the older child that is a good 12 years away! I happen to fall in the category and take greater interest in that department so I kept very quiet while the ladies laughed over the matter. If I do decide to become a mother one day, I reckon my duty is to deliver that little thing into this world (since I don’t have a choice unless medical technology improved to enable otherwise) and whoever the father is, he would have to take care of the rest i.e. waking up in the middle of the night to do the milk feeding! I would be in charge of checking out and selecting the schools- thank you very much.
“Hey P, the part I liked about you which was funny is your ‘private school’, ‘private school’… you are so funny and cool… I love it!” Nano quoted me again before he left. He really found it amusing.I was being serious.
Facebook is one hell of a double-edge sword in this technocratic era. I wonder if it is a boon or a bane? The Aura and I have been linked up again. He is now with a not-too- good-looking Hungarian girl. Don’t get me wrong- I am not sore but seriously, his taste of white girls seems questionable. I remembered from recollection that I didn’t think his ex-girlfriend of three years was any looker. Once you live in France, you start to realise that the general French female population is quite an unattractive lot collectively. So was my first French, W's girlfriend Belle whom he brought to front me. The French do fucking love to French kiss, I can tell you that for a fact. They were so making out in front of my classmates and I (many who knew we had an affair) when we went to the pub for a big farewell for some of the girls. Much later, during a chance encounter that led us to stay in touch before I left Paris for good, he confessed that Bella knew about us (not the part where we slept but that we did kissed and W too, learnt that she was kissing up an ex-boyfriend at a party so it was tit for tat) and so that night when I was there, she tried really hard. I happened also to be wearing a nice fitted black jersey wrap dress with a plunging neckline that night. Strangely though, she was extremely nice to me at the bar and I sat right next to her and all this while, I remained cordial and somewhat chatty (my usual guise in social group setting) and the both continued French kissing away, my American classmates feeling somewhat uncomfortable (perhaps for me) with the pair being in the group but not quite part of us at the same time as we sat around a huge table.
I could hardly breathe today, given that my lousy nose is yet being dealt a hard blow by the transition to spring. Hay fever it is called. I tried using a bloody strong spray and downed a strong tablet but my efforts were in vain. I even had the fucking nasal strip strapped to my nose at work, like someone has bashed me up and broke my bridge, which is in the midst of recovery. I went back to my GP.
“How’s your depression going?” she asked.
What the fuck did she expect me to say? That it has completely disappeared for good or that I am still weighed down by it? I don’t know man- it varies so that was one tough question!
Ok, am I supposed to puke or what? The stalker in me went back to that curious site! Bitch in question is showing off pictures of her Baby No. 2 9-week old pregnancy scans and she posted the results of Look-alike Meter where their baby quite unfortunately looks 8% more like her. Pictures after pictures that she is fond of posting- some people really have nothing better to do except to pretty up for the husband, feed, clean and wash both child and husband and fucking work those ovaries alright and start reproducing mini-mes like a sow!
Today, I was included with the rest of the team to visit the boss’s newborn baby girl. As usual, I was the only one refrained from carrying the bundle of joy in my arms, citing clumsiness that prevents me from being able to handle such a precious little living creature! Well, that is partly true but in reality, I am not much of a coo-ing, maternal type of person. I seriously would end up crying if the baby was crying and the last I needed was to get into such a predicament! As a matter of fact, I have trouble taking care of myself. I am too much of a big baby- my mum thinks so and so does DL! The ladies and the proud mother were discussing how funny and anxious the proud father is! He’s already thought about the schools and has put down the deposit for high school for the older child that is a good 12 years away! I happen to fall in the category and take greater interest in that department so I kept very quiet while the ladies laughed over the matter. If I do decide to become a mother one day, I reckon my duty is to deliver that little thing into this world (since I don’t have a choice unless medical technology improved to enable otherwise) and whoever the father is, he would have to take care of the rest i.e. waking up in the middle of the night to do the milk feeding! I would be in charge of checking out and selecting the schools- thank you very much.
“Hey P, the part I liked about you which was funny is your ‘private school’, ‘private school’… you are so funny and cool… I love it!” Nano quoted me again before he left. He really found it amusing.I was being serious.
Facebook is one hell of a double-edge sword in this technocratic era. I wonder if it is a boon or a bane? The Aura and I have been linked up again. He is now with a not-too- good-looking Hungarian girl. Don’t get me wrong- I am not sore but seriously, his taste of white girls seems questionable. I remembered from recollection that I didn’t think his ex-girlfriend of three years was any looker. Once you live in France, you start to realise that the general French female population is quite an unattractive lot collectively. So was my first French, W's girlfriend Belle whom he brought to front me. The French do fucking love to French kiss, I can tell you that for a fact. They were so making out in front of my classmates and I (many who knew we had an affair) when we went to the pub for a big farewell for some of the girls. Much later, during a chance encounter that led us to stay in touch before I left Paris for good, he confessed that Bella knew about us (not the part where we slept but that we did kissed and W too, learnt that she was kissing up an ex-boyfriend at a party so it was tit for tat) and so that night when I was there, she tried really hard. I happened also to be wearing a nice fitted black jersey wrap dress with a plunging neckline that night. Strangely though, she was extremely nice to me at the bar and I sat right next to her and all this while, I remained cordial and somewhat chatty (my usual guise in social group setting) and the both continued French kissing away, my American classmates feeling somewhat uncomfortable (perhaps for me) with the pair being in the group but not quite part of us at the same time as we sat around a huge table.
I could hardly breathe today, given that my lousy nose is yet being dealt a hard blow by the transition to spring. Hay fever it is called. I tried using a bloody strong spray and downed a strong tablet but my efforts were in vain. I even had the fucking nasal strip strapped to my nose at work, like someone has bashed me up and broke my bridge, which is in the midst of recovery. I went back to my GP.
“How’s your depression going?” she asked.
What the fuck did she expect me to say? That it has completely disappeared for good or that I am still weighed down by it? I don’t know man- it varies so that was one tough question!
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Whatever
Today, I was in a self-indulgent whingeing mood (and I can now hear the Old Boy say when are you ever not in an "I", "I", "I" mood)...Nevertheless, I was in good enough spirits.
I kept repeating to him that I hated Nano. I couldn't help it, I told him. So he let me go on and on about it.
"Poor P, he used you as a cum bucket!"
"Heh, that's too funny!"
"I don't think its funny. It's sad. Fat Bastard! "
I didn't think it was funny funny. But tragic comedy funny that the OB chose to perceive me as this poor, vulnerable petite damsel being made used of by a chubby guy. But I knew what he meant (thanks, I did appreciate your protectiveness over me).
But then I also allowed it. Stupid P!
****
In other works, I have just finished reading"Catcher in the Rye". I can quite identify myself with Holden Caulfield, the narrator. Interesting book and I am still wondering why it is a book of such great literary merit that it is taught as a Literature text. Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy the book but I am just wondering about the criteria for a book to be chosen as a text used in English class.
****
The past few days I received bad news of 2 people being in the advanced stages of lung cancer and liver cancer. Both news delivered by my two best friends. One being B's father.
The good news is she has decided to get married in 3 months' time. No big deal or any great excitement. News cooly delivered in her usual style. She has begged me not to trouble myself and come back just for her sake. In fact, she almost wishes she doesn't have to turn up at her own party. I'm wondering if she would mind if I suggest that we should have a hens' night? Just to celebrate the end of her bachelorettehood (not that she cares- nothing will really change, she kindda assured me). Just for old times' sake since I guess we would never conquer the world together again (I wish not for her sake too. Like I always said to her if one is a lucky girl, she only needs to be a bride once in her life. I never cared to get married but if I do, I pray it better just be once.)
Ironically, B always wanted to get married and have kids (though kids irritate the hell out of her but she gotta have them). I am the opposite (though I don't like children either but I sure would love my own as well if I decide to finally hatch my eggs!) but I always wanted a big wedding and always know how it's going to be like. She never wanted a wedding party of any kind. Right from the start even when we were seventeen (some things never change I guess). She just wants to bloody get on with her life, find the right man, stick to it(and not have to bloody re-invent the wheel as she puts it when I play the Devil's Advocate and asked perhaps she could wait a bit longer cos there might be bigger, better deals out there for her- she, being still young and beautiful looking).
I'm beginning to wonder if I am a hardcore romanticizer at heart. I still believe in having a fairy tale wedding- party of my life I tell ya if it ever happens and a blissful family life if I should make bold my life's step and walk down the aisle (thought actually gives me heart palpitations of the worst kind- I still view myself too much of a kid to labour over the idea of being someone else's wife! Shivers!). If not, I'll have none. Just like kids- if I couldn't afford to send them to private schools, they aren't coming out from my womb. Nano was highly amused about me and my "private school" bullcrap- he loved it he said and (what he liked about me he) quoted me again before we departed! I'm too afraid to lead that "imperfect" life. If I can't have it complete, I am better off existing alone!
Another good news this morning. A new leash of life! A colleague just had a baby girl. He now has a boy and a girl. How complete!
*****
I missed my last psychologist appointment. I was on my way to see him and then I forgot that I needed to do something for DL and cancelled it. Naturally, the psychologist wasn't too pleased.
I will be going to him this Friday. Let's see what he has got to say.
*****
I am in a fairly great mood today. Lots of jumbled thoughts and actually feeling very ego bruised with the Nano incident. Something to do with last night's online conversation but I wouldn't want to dwell on that since I have managed to contain it.
Bottom line is I am going to chuck him at the furtherest end of my mind. That idiot!
*****
Outstanding Pieces that I have been meaning to write since the start of 2007:
1) Manila Rendezvous Part III (!!!)
2) Being Ready (thoughts are coming together what with B's impending marriage and a no. of wedding news that I received to date plus my relationship wit DL)
3) Finding Ben (coming real soon!)
4) Windsor Boy (maybe- haven't done much justice in words to him)
5) Tears (major emotional breakthrough between DL and I)
Ok, will work through them as mini writing projects for the rest of 2007.
Today, I was in a self-indulgent whingeing mood (and I can now hear the Old Boy say when are you ever not in an "I", "I", "I" mood)...Nevertheless, I was in good enough spirits.
I kept repeating to him that I hated Nano. I couldn't help it, I told him. So he let me go on and on about it.
"Poor P, he used you as a cum bucket!"
"Heh, that's too funny!"
"I don't think its funny. It's sad. Fat Bastard! "
I didn't think it was funny funny. But tragic comedy funny that the OB chose to perceive me as this poor, vulnerable petite damsel being made used of by a chubby guy. But I knew what he meant (thanks, I did appreciate your protectiveness over me).
But then I also allowed it. Stupid P!
****
In other works, I have just finished reading
****
The past few days I received bad news of 2 people being in the advanced stages of lung cancer and liver cancer. Both news delivered by my two best friends. One being B's father.
The good news is she has decided to get married in 3 months' time. No big deal or any great excitement. News cooly delivered in her usual style. She has begged me not to trouble myself and come back just for her sake. In fact, she almost wishes she doesn't have to turn up at her own party. I'm wondering if she would mind if I suggest that we should have a hens' night? Just to celebrate the end of her bachelorettehood (not that she cares- nothing will really change, she kindda assured me). Just for old times' sake since I guess we would never conquer the world together again (I wish not for her sake too. Like I always said to her if one is a lucky girl, she only needs to be a bride once in her life. I never cared to get married but if I do, I pray it better just be once.)
Ironically, B always wanted to get married and have kids (though kids irritate the hell out of her but she gotta have them). I am the opposite (though I don't like children either but I sure would love my own as well if I decide to finally hatch my eggs!) but I always wanted a big wedding and always know how it's going to be like. She never wanted a wedding party of any kind. Right from the start even when we were seventeen (some things never change I guess). She just wants to bloody get on with her life, find the right man, stick to it(and not have to bloody re-invent the wheel as she puts it when I play the Devil's Advocate and asked perhaps she could wait a bit longer cos there might be bigger, better deals out there for her- she, being still young and beautiful looking).
I'm beginning to wonder if I am a hardcore romanticizer at heart. I still believe in having a fairy tale wedding- party of my life I tell ya if it ever happens and a blissful family life if I should make bold my life's step and walk down the aisle (thought actually gives me heart palpitations of the worst kind- I still view myself too much of a kid to labour over the idea of being someone else's wife! Shivers!). If not, I'll have none. Just like kids- if I couldn't afford to send them to private schools, they aren't coming out from my womb. Nano was highly amused about me and my "private school" bullcrap- he loved it he said and (what he liked about me he) quoted me again before we departed! I'm too afraid to lead that "imperfect" life. If I can't have it complete, I am better off existing alone!
Another good news this morning. A new leash of life! A colleague just had a baby girl. He now has a boy and a girl. How complete!
*****
I missed my last psychologist appointment. I was on my way to see him and then I forgot that I needed to do something for DL and cancelled it. Naturally, the psychologist wasn't too pleased.
I will be going to him this Friday. Let's see what he has got to say.
*****
I am in a fairly great mood today. Lots of jumbled thoughts and actually feeling very ego bruised with the Nano incident. Something to do with last night's online conversation but I wouldn't want to dwell on that since I have managed to contain it.
Bottom line is I am going to chuck him at the furtherest end of my mind. That idiot!
*****
Outstanding Pieces that I have been meaning to write since the start of 2007:
1) Manila Rendezvous Part III (!!!)
2) Being Ready (thoughts are coming together what with B's impending marriage and a no. of wedding news that I received to date plus my relationship wit DL)
3) Finding Ben (coming real soon!)
4) Windsor Boy (maybe- haven't done much justice in words to him)
5) Tears (major emotional breakthrough between DL and I)
Ok, will work through them as mini writing projects for the rest of 2007.
