Monday, June 21, 2010
The Wrong "M"
So on Friday morning, I woke up with this super surreal dream about M.
The feeling felt so real. I was back home in Singapore and as if some of you might have remember, he has moved to Singapore to do his MBA about 6 months ago. In the dream, the old flame was rekindled and I felt this guilt as DL was too in Singapore. In the dream, I was struggling to do the right thing whilst keeping my emotions in check. I thought I was over M (I really do, in real life!) but I had to fight hard to keep the floodgates of old emotions closed.
I woke up feeling affected, like the residual of emotions from yesterday are still there. My dream felt like the re-surfacing of my sub-sconscious. I felt uncertain, like I am not so sure of myself or feelings anymore...
*****
Friday is always a busy day of the week for DL and myself. We went about our business as usual and found ourselves getting into very argumentative fights.
We have been violently quarrelsome of late. We were reaching boiling point.
But that is another story.
Anyhow, we were going about our business when I received a text message alert. I figured it was one of my sales prospects and checked my phone.
To my surprise, I got a message:
"Hey P, how are you? I will be cruising the South Coast and might stop by Sad Town for night. Let me know if you are free to catch up over dinner and drinks either on Sun or Mon. The Man"
That was totally unexpected.
The last I heard from him was about a year before.He tried to get in touch on 2 occasions when he was in Sydney. I thought with the fiasco sms that I had accidentally sent out to him, that would have been the last I would hear from him again.
Now I was getting curious. I started wondering if he was divorced or he wanted to deliver some news to me. I mean, I wonder what he was hoping to get out from meeting me after the failed attempt a year ago. I am no longer a headhunter so I am no good to him either.
What does he want, really?
It is more than four years since we last met and even longer since the dirty was done many moons ago.
One would have thought one have moved on since we parted the night with those lines "it was fun"- his lines, not mine. For years, it never failed to stick out like a sore thumb in my memory and I was determined to erase any traces of joint experience with the said individual.
Damn! Wrong M, I thought to myself, having my day been roused to awakeness by such dreamlike fantasy with an old love I once truly was in love with, only to be greeted with the sms of another.
Anyways, as with the life of P, my past always have a way of catching up with me. Like a tale half told begging to be told. There was always a question mark lingering in the air of The Man's years of disappearance and how we missed each other last year in Sydney because I couldn't be bothered. So now, the time has arrived. I have lost my curiosity for the longest while but seems like the story of P's life is that no stones should or would be left unturned.
So I replied and said, yes, Sunday is fine for drinks (and kindly informed my other half that an old friend from Sydney is in town and would like to catch up)...
So on Friday morning, I woke up with this super surreal dream about M.
The feeling felt so real. I was back home in Singapore and as if some of you might have remember, he has moved to Singapore to do his MBA about 6 months ago. In the dream, the old flame was rekindled and I felt this guilt as DL was too in Singapore. In the dream, I was struggling to do the right thing whilst keeping my emotions in check. I thought I was over M (I really do, in real life!) but I had to fight hard to keep the floodgates of old emotions closed.
I woke up feeling affected, like the residual of emotions from yesterday are still there. My dream felt like the re-surfacing of my sub-sconscious. I felt uncertain, like I am not so sure of myself or feelings anymore...
*****
Friday is always a busy day of the week for DL and myself. We went about our business as usual and found ourselves getting into very argumentative fights.
We have been violently quarrelsome of late. We were reaching boiling point.
But that is another story.
Anyhow, we were going about our business when I received a text message alert. I figured it was one of my sales prospects and checked my phone.
To my surprise, I got a message:
"Hey P, how are you? I will be cruising the South Coast and might stop by Sad Town for night. Let me know if you are free to catch up over dinner and drinks either on Sun or Mon. The Man"
That was totally unexpected.
The last I heard from him was about a year before.He tried to get in touch on 2 occasions when he was in Sydney. I thought with the fiasco sms that I had accidentally sent out to him, that would have been the last I would hear from him again.
Now I was getting curious. I started wondering if he was divorced or he wanted to deliver some news to me. I mean, I wonder what he was hoping to get out from meeting me after the failed attempt a year ago. I am no longer a headhunter so I am no good to him either.
What does he want, really?
It is more than four years since we last met and even longer since the dirty was done many moons ago.
One would have thought one have moved on since we parted the night with those lines "it was fun"- his lines, not mine. For years, it never failed to stick out like a sore thumb in my memory and I was determined to erase any traces of joint experience with the said individual.
Damn! Wrong M, I thought to myself, having my day been roused to awakeness by such dreamlike fantasy with an old love I once truly was in love with, only to be greeted with the sms of another.
Anyways, as with the life of P, my past always have a way of catching up with me. Like a tale half told begging to be told. There was always a question mark lingering in the air of The Man's years of disappearance and how we missed each other last year in Sydney because I couldn't be bothered. So now, the time has arrived. I have lost my curiosity for the longest while but seems like the story of P's life is that no stones should or would be left unturned.
So I replied and said, yes, Sunday is fine for drinks (and kindly informed my other half that an old friend from Sydney is in town and would like to catch up)...
